As a teenager, life is tough. With love, school, family, work, and friends, life is a bit of a mixed up mess. The ties that we become bonded to are far too much to handle it seems at times. Currently, I live with my friend, Lauren. Her family took me in and supported me, and I'm unbelievably blessed. I moved in with her family in the beginning of November. I decided to move in after I signed up for a college class. I used to live on the outskirts of town before I lived here.
My family didn't want me to leave, but I had to get out. My parents are both smokers and it made the house reek and gave me headaches, and in a world of teens that constantly make the wrong decisions, I want to make the right ones. I've never smoked, I've never drank. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, because I'm not. I apologize. Personally, I just want to separate myself from the common majority. I plan to be a leader, not a follower. I want to go to college, I want to make a lot of money. I don't want to limit myself.
I have a little brother named Ricky. He's actually bigger than me, I never thought he would be, but he is. He plays sports and he's so smart. He's got a great head on his shoulders. He always gets picked on. He has passion. I miss him. He goes to a different school than me, in a different city, and he loves it. I'm happy, because I want him to be happy. It's what he deserves. I feel like I've left him out, like I've forgotten about him. But, I want him to know that I haven't. I promise. He struggles with homework sometimes and I used to help him a lot. But now, it seems like we are forever away. I used to play baseball with him outside, play video games, and talk. And as a lump swells in my throat just thinking about it, it pains me to know that he thinks I left him. I miss him. I miss the talks we used to have. We used to laugh and play board games, he's told me things that he'd never tell anyone else. I love him with everything I have. He's smart and funny and I just want to make sure that God carries him through life. And gives him everything he deserves. A beautiful wife, money, gorgeous children. I love him so much.
I have a boyfriend, his name is Tyler. He's super-supportive and really cute. He promised me forever. And, I know it seems ripe, but he's stuck with me for a month now. I've never had a boyfriend like him before, or a committed boyfriend at all for that matter. I'm excited to see what God has planned for us.
I signed up for a trip to go to France for a month this summer, and I'm so excited. It's going to cost me $2,000. That cost is fairly reasonable. Although I am still trying to get the money, I'm trying my best to ask companies. My grades can't really afford for me to get a job, so I can't get a job. I guess I'm going to have to get one and risk my grade, because I have absolutely no way to pay for this, but I'll do anything at this point. I feel like I've missed out on a lot because I'm basically supporting myself off nothing. I use the money that my parents do give me to buy things I need. I feel like I'm living off of things given to me. At this point, I'll probably go sign up for food stamps if I can. I suppose I'm just going to figure it out as the days go on, and as I blossom, grow, learn, make mistakes, and venture into the rest my life.