Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Elephant's Memory

By , Lynchburg, VA
Abuse. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, and a lot more. this is my personal story about being Abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally daily for a year and a half. He was someone who was supposed to be my best friend. And there's no denying he was for a while. And then, things changed fast. He was suddenly drawing back. It stared when he smacked me in the face for the first time. At the time, I thought nothing of it. As time passed it got worse, and a lot more frequent, for a while it was just an occasional punch or kick, I passed it off as a joke a friendly gesture and nothing more. But, the longer it went on- the worse it got, there was kicking, jabbing, smacking, spitting, punching, throwing, biting,choking, bruising and even leaving me to the point where i could barely move. I don't know why i didn't leave sooner. I can still feel his finger nails digging into my arm calling me a w****, a freak, telling me i might as well kill myself because everyone would be better off- as time grew i began to believe those things myself. I remember the flash of immense pain ad his fist glided into my face- knocking me against the concrete wall. To this day i can feel each sharp flash of pain while he relentlessly kicked me while i was on the ground. Choking me until i was blue in the face and almost blacking out. I remember his fake apologies. I forced myself to believe him because i couldn't bring myself to believe he really was a monster. I couldn't begin to fathom it. Every day i smiled and assured him he was forgiven, then later being faced with so much abuse, then in my room alone at night drowning in tears and hurt. Emotionally and mentally beating myself calling myself a looser, weak, and stupid. I can still recall falling asleep hoping never to wake up again, that way i wouldn't have to face him ever again. I remember having to cover the bruises with make up and hide my true pain from my family and friends. I was terrified. I lived like this for so long until i finally broke down on the phone with my grandma. I got out. And even though the monster is gone. His words and actions will forever haunt me. Even though he's gone. He'll always be a part of me. As much as I would like to pretend it didn't happen I know I can't force myself to believe that lie. The monster absolutely destroyed my self-esteem and self-worth. And I know he's gone, he'll never hurt me again, he's stained into my heart, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him. When good things happen we savor them, but eventually loose complete memory of them. When things traumatic like this happen, We all have an Elephant's Memory...



Join the Discussion

This article has 54 comments. Post your own now!

TaquayaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 5 at 11:48 am
Woah. Sometimes I read things like this and look back on my own memories, and then I'm so glad that I'm no longer in that situation but still hurt that I was ever there. 
 
Acaruso said...
Dec. 1, 2013 at 7:37 am
The last few words really it it home. Wow, amazing!
 
readlovewriteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 20, 2013 at 8:55 pm
Wow, this is really great writing.  It must be a relief to finally have gotten through it and be able to look back on it as a memory only.
 
bigblue said...
Jun. 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm
ThisPlease keep your comments positive and constructive. We'll remove anything inappropriate. Thanks!
 
bigblue said...
Jun. 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm
ThisPlease keep your comments positive and constructive. We'll remove anything inappropriate. Thanks!
 
bigblue said...
Jun. 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm
ThisPlease keep your comments positive and constructive. We'll remove anything inappropriate. Thanks!
 
bigblue said...
Jun. 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm
ThisPlease keep your comments positive and constructive. We'll remove anything inappropriate. Thanks!
 
Precious_15 said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 3:20 pm
wow, this is deep. really deep.. but im glad u can share ur story..
 
redAKbabygirl22 said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 3:12 pm
geez, that is just horrible! sounds just like what happened to a close relative of mine. but shes getting over it, i helped her through with it
 
recurring_resilience said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Gruesome.. I can't even imagine...
 
Allen replied...
Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:29 am
I can't imagine too.So scared.
 
Lashonti said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm
This is great. I am speechless
 
Lashonti said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm
This is deep...Just amazing..hinestly, wow im speechless
 
alligator6 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 8:15 pm
this is amazing... i can't even put how i feel about it into words. it's just amazing.
 
laverne said...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 8:06 pm
i love this so much that i can feel the words as if they were upon my skin.. creative
 
6FTBEAST said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm
This is beautiful, i cried when images of him doing this do you ran in my head.
 
pixxieloveThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm
thats good perfect decription of how it really does happen
 
Muzee3 said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm
u've got it all in order and thats perfect.... nice one, good writing, keep up ur work!
 
NightGoddess17This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 11:33 am
wow... this is well written and very shocking... i want to say i can relate, but i really can't. Not in any way.However, I'm glad you were able to get the whole story out. Keep moving on with your life.
 
WhiteWings said...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 2:46 pm
W.O.W. I wish I could relate. I mean from experiance and not just watching as I have. But if you let yourself you will eventually forget so you can forgive.
 
Site Feedback