I can't be the strong one anymore. People say I'm strong, but it's all just an act. What I want to know is, what happens when the act falls apart? What happens when everything that you too start to believe, turns out to be a lie? Will people feel bad? Will they try to "save" me? Well, I don't need your sympathy and I'm too far gone to save. So don't waste your time on me. I just want some one else to put on the fake smile and say "everything is okay." But it's never going to happen, because everyone else is too afraid. So, until some one else decides to be brave, and relieve me of the lying, and tell me "it's okay to cry." I guess I'm stuck being some one I wish I could be. Some one without problems, and who doesn't care what people think or say, some one who isn't afraid to say what they think. The truth is, that isn't me. I do have problems, ALOT if them. I do care what people think or say about me. And I am afraid to say what I think. I'm an insecure, lying jerk who is super sensitive, and has a short temper. I'll stand with my head held high, because that's all I can do. No one knows that the final act is coming to the end, and I, myself, I am breaking down.
November 15, 2011