Valuing Myself

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“Life is easier when you just don’t care.” I used to believe that. I used to not care about myself, anything, or anyone. One learning experience that I had was realizing the need to care for myself. This experience taught me that I am important because I am worthy. I might have never thought of myself as in important person if it wasn’t for my family.
I used to smoke cigarettes everyday for a long time with my friends and sometimes alone. I stole money from my mom almost everyday. I didn’t care about anything, I was happy everyday. Well, at least that’s what I thought. I didn’t obey my parents. I came home whenever I felt like. My sisters would ask me where I was. My mom was going crazy trying to find out where I was she tried to yell at me, but I didn’t even look at her. I wasn’t showing any love, but somewhere inside I really didn’t like seeing my mom cry. My sisters would start to cry too when they saw my mom cry, but I ignored it. What hurt me inside was that all my sisters were making me feel bad by looking at me like they hated me. Once again I acted like I didn’t care, when inside I really did care. I love my family, my parents and all my siblings. I didn’t even know why I was acting that way.
One day my mom cried so such that she started getting chest pains, at first I didn’t believe that she actually was hurting until she turned all red I was getting very nervous. I didn’t want her to have a heart attack. My sisters noticed and asked if she was okay, so I just went upstairs. The next day I came home early and I locked myself in my room and covered the door with my dresser because I knew my mom had a key. I don’t really like showing my feelings so I didn’t. I would just try to hide it when I was sad by thinking of something else and forgetting about what was making me sad, but that the day I decided to come home early. I cried so much I thought I was dying, I’ve never cried so much in my life. I cried myself to sleep that day, I wanted to be happy. I wanted my family to be happy; I thought the only way to make my mom happy was to be far away from her, so I was actually thinking of running away. I went to school, and I told my best friend I was really thinking of leaving my family and she convinced me not to go anywhere, and to start listening to my mom. I thought that it was going to be hard but I did it.
I’ve learned to love and to be respectful to my mother, and to listen to her. When you think your parents are being unfair, really think about it. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt.





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