“Heather, do you like me?” He asks casually.

Of course I do!
At first I was just relieved to have a non-random-stranger in my lab group, but now I regret being forced to observe you staring at Megan for 45 minutes every day.
You don’t notice, but it really crushes my spirit, the way you glace up at Jayce every few seconds as she tells you probably somewhat true tales of teen drinking, partying, and sex (or lack thereof) that occur on her three day weekends.
I wish I could hold your attention for longer than it takes you to copy my calculations and explanation of our mostly inaccurate experiments.
While we’re at it, could I have some life experience, confidence, and rebelliousness? ‘Cause it’s ridiculous how obedient and submissive I am.
Is that why you don’t even openly acknowledge my existence, Ryan? I know Jayce wouldn’t let anyone tell her what to do, and Megan would even take the time to listen to someone trying to direct her life. BJ would probably do anything anyone told him to do, but since he’s a guy, I think there are different standards going on there.
I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you Ryan! But don’t worry, I won’t even bother trying to talk to you; you’ve engraved into my soul my inadequacies.
And I am well aware of your merit and many talents; I won’t even pretend that maybe it could have been. I know this is a simple case of too varying places on the food chain.
With a mastery in sprinting and hurdles, you are a track star, and I‘m a lowly flag girl in the marching band. You top the charts in popularity and confidence while the only thing I rank well in is class GPAs.
But I dream about you anyway. I stare at you while you stare and Megan…
“Why would you ask that?” I reply with a raised eyebrow.
“Just wondering.” As he returns my questioning gaze.
“That’s a very interesting question. Sure.” And the subject drops as his attention returns to copying my percent abundance equations.





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RDCupid said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:50 pm
This was amazing to read.  I know exactly how you feel, and I have had that problem and I still do.  I don't know if your a christian or not, but at times when I feel low, and I think the way you do, and I want someone to acknowledge me, I turn to God.  It helps me, and then I realize that I'm not alone, nor have I ever been unloved.  Keep your head up, and trust me you will find someone better than Ryan.
 
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