Over the summer I fell in love. Well, I guess it wasn’t actually love, but I sure as heck thought it was. It’s kind of pathetic that I thought I was in love, for one, I’m 16. For two, we only “talked” for a week. It’s not like I only knew him for a week, I’ve known him my whole life, and we had our first kiss together. Anyway, we “talked” for a week, 168 hours straight, nonstop. He was the first person I said good morning to and the last to say goodnight.

One night we were hanging out at the lake and he kissed me, for our second time. It wasn’t one of those awkward, afterward-we’re-going-to-pretend-that-didn’t-happen kiss. It was the long, weak in the knees, all-you-can-think-about kiss. It was perfect. The sun was setting, the wind was blowing, and there was barely anyone around. Then he said it, those three horrid, dreadful words. “I love you,” he whispered. That was the first time I said those words to a boy. I guess that’s why I said them; I didn’t know what I was talking about.

A week later, things ended. He wasn’t like “Kelsey, I don’t know what we have going here, but I’m ending it,” that would have been better. Instead, he just stopped showing up at my house every night. He stopped calling me and texting me. He stopped caring, if he ever did. He moved on with his life, leaving me to fall short and suffer.

Sometimes, when I look back at life, there are days when I think, Man, I miss that boy, and there are others when I’m like, How could I have been so dumb?

I wish I could say that we eventually got over it and became friends, but I can’t. The only way I can get over him and convince myself that I don’t like him is by hatred. When people say his name, my mouth says “I hate him!” but my mind says the opposite.

This boy changed my life because; because of him I’m scared to let anyone in too close. I don’t want to get hurt again. It has affected my other relationships. I tell my friends and family just how much they mean to me, all the time now.

I’ve never liked anyone as much as I liked him. Sometimes, I don’t know if that will ever change. I know this probably sounds really cliché. It is. You’re probably all like, I’ve heard this all before. I know. I just never thought it would be happening to me, you know? This is the kind of thing that happens in movies, not to innocent little Kelseys.