Daddy's Little Girl

May 18, 2011
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“Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.”

Calling me a daddy’s girl wouldn’t exactly suffice my relationship with you. The three words we exchange every few days don’t exactly help mend a relationship broken. I don’t know when it happened, but all I know is I am living in the reality of not even knowing you. You live two doors to the left of my room, but your door seems always closed. When you’re not working you aren’t inside, and when we are inside you are always locked away watching television in your room. I wish I could feel the same way as I did when I was little, how we were inseparable, and you were all I could think about. I miss the old ways of life when it was so much simpler.
“You're beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.”
I can’t recall a time I have had a real conversation with you. I go to you when I think I need you the most but you are always busy. Even though I am sixteen I would like to think I still deserve some quality time with my dad. I have never told you any of this. I was embarrassed to think I didn’t have the relationship with you like other girls do. Hearing plenty of times how when a girl turned sixteen her dad took her to get her license; and he also taught he how to drive. There wasn’t much teaching as there was begging you to let me get into the driver’s seat.
“When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You!" in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy Love You More!"”
When I was little you were my world. You were the only man I needed in my life, and I knew I would be with you forever. We used to do things all the time, if it was from just watching a movie to going hunting. I miss the days of falling asleep in the deer stand and you waking me up to tell me there was a deer. I would wipe my eyes and look up your smiling face. You would whisper.
“Vallery, come on baby girl. There is a deer.” I would scramble to my feet and sit into your lap. Quietly you would lift the barrel onto the lip of the stand. You would put my hand in yours and pull it towards the trigger. Counting down you would finally say. “Shoot!” I would burst into a grin and pull the trigger with all of my strength. Once I release the trigger I look up to you, your face ecstatic.
“You got em’!” I would smile and scramble to the floor to pick up your jacket. You had used it to make me a soft pallet on the floor, after I had fallen asleep in your lap. We would scramble out of the stand and head towards the feeder. These were some of the best memories I have of you and I, and some I will never forget.
“You're beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.”

You’re my daddy and I love you. You’re still my superhero, and you’re the one man that will never hurt me. You love me with all your heart and I know you do, but sometimes I wish there were better ways to show it. I hate that we don't have a real relationship; the kind of father daughter relationship I want. The only time we exchange words is when I need something or I am getting in trouble. I remember looking through old pictures and seeing us together. You holding me and I am supporting the biggest grin with my head in my hands. I understand it gets harder when I get older, but I never want to lose you; cause no matter if I am seven or seventy, I will always be your little girl.
“Someday, some boy will come and ask me for your hand.
But I won't say "yes" to him unless I know, he's the half
that makes you whole, he has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man.
I know he'll say that he's in love.
But between you and me. He won't be good enough!”
This song means a lot to me, because when I get married this is going to be the song that you and I dance too. It resembles the relationship that me and you have, but don't know how to express. The memories I have from growing up with you will stay with me forever. They are some of the greatest memories I have. I remember last Christmas you gave me a necklace made out of wire that spelt my name; it was the greatest gift I had ever received. It meant so much to me just because it was from you. When I used to wake up in the mornings and see the notes from you saying “Daddy loves you!” I have kept every single one of them. They mean more to me than just a piece of paper, they are proof to me that I am still your little girl; and that it will never change.
“You're beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.”





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