Forgive yourself

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You know this cliched question, " If you could go back and change things in life, would you?" and obviously comes with it the very cliched answer " No, I wouldn't because it has made me who I'm today. I'm stronger and more stable and blah blah blah" Yes, I know your past has made you who you are today. I dont know about you, but i'm more guarded than I use to be, I'm more scared than i use to be and definitely too tired of just struggling with my mistakes. And I'm not sure it's a great place to be in.

And sometimes, I think how stupid man. I'd give anything to change the past, sometimes change the person that i was, sometimes change the way others behaved and sometimes I'd just delete some people, if only it was that easy and in a click i could just erase all my mistakes.

And now, suddenly, I'm thinking something that is absolutely opposite of what i thought when I started writing this. I know there is a reason why everybody says it but I'm not sure that they believe in it completely. I dont think people say it because it's true and they feel it, I think most say it because that's what they want to believe.

We've moved on, we've grown up, we've let go. Have we really? I mean, honestly, close your eyes and think, do you not carry all your mistakes so close to your heart that it's almost impossible to think without having them pop up everyone second ? I mean maybe we dont defy our parents anymore, maybe we dont do drugs, maybe we dont smoke, maybe we respect people now but do you not every single day doubt the person you are because of who you use to be? Does it not pull you back in life, when on lonely nights the only thing you can think of is how to just take it all back?

So, what's the point of this?
What's the point of answering like you've got it all figured when really you're in a mess. I mean, i totally know how it works okay, been there done that. But now I'm thinking it's time for a change.
So, what's the solution you may want to ask? Well, I think instead of just trying to make ourselves believe that we're fine, we should just start being fine. Instead of thinking of let go, we should let go. And instead of carrying our mistakes like baggage, we should leave them behind only carrying a feeling, a feeling that maybe I didn't do all the right things and maybe somedays I wasn't even close to being the person i want to be but today, I'm, infact one step closer or maybe even almost there.

You know I heard somewhere," When you forgive, you love. And when you love, god's light shines on you." So, just breathe in and forgive yourself and forgive others around you. Then, you wouldn't try so hard to tell everyone you are a better person because of your past, you'll just be it. And that feeling is unbelievably magical.





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