Dream or no dream

March 28, 2011
Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real, you didn't know what to believe?
I'm currently feeling like I'm living in a dream, like I dont know what to believe. Because right now, life feels good, and it's more than I ever hoped for. And sometimes, that scares me, ALOT. I dont want this to ever end and I dont want anything to change, at all, ever.
And sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with these thoughts that it's almost impossible for me to stop myself from thinking about all the wrong things and in a stupid way convincing myself about how nothing's forever and that I have to accept that life cannot be awesome all the time. I convince myself that life is suppose to be a string of imcompletes. But is it really?

I dont think so. And I guess I would have never known, if i didnt give it a chance. It's so easy to take out faults in everything. To conclude how it's not going to work out because of blah blah blah. So f***ing easy. And, if you ask yourself, you know this is the truth, it takes alot more effort to say, oh, that's perfect than say oh, that sucks. But I'm tired of doing this now. I'm tired of settling. And I'm tired of always being safe. So, I thought, I'll take a chance, I'll make a change.Sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. And here I'm taking such a huge risk. I've given my heart to this guy, all of it. I'm for once, not taking out faults in something and somehow managing to destroy everything. Infact, I'm focusing on what makes it so god damn meant-to-be.

Today I see, that you can find the good in anybody or anything if you just give it a chance, benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you, sometimes you surprise yourself but you never really get to know anyone until you listen to what's in their heart.
And, I'm not saying I didn't try hard to explain to myself how this is not the right thing. Trust me, I tried, but It's like fate playing it's way around and making me realise that I'm just a stupid little girl trying to fight my own happiness. And, I guess, if you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, you always find them, then at some point maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves.

It's been said that there is one word that will free us from the weight and misery of life. And, that word is love, and I believe that now. It doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard or that it won't be. But what this guy has taught me about life and love and happiness and sacrifice and hope, in such a short time, I probably havn't been able to learn in all the 18 years of my existence. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have found a sense of stillness and stability with him. I mean I'm way overboard with my emotions most of the times, It's like a roller coaster ride, and I haven't cried this much in years and it might seem like I'm a freak of nature, wayy unstable and stuff. But I have never in my life felt so stable or so safe or so respected. I guess what I'm trying to say is, he makes me feel brave. And I dont there exits a more liberating feeling than that.

So, if this is a dream, it better go on forever. Because there is just no looking back now. And someone once told me, that I'm a fighter. So if you're planning to end soon, be prepared because I've never learnt to give up in life. Dream or no dream, this guy is mine and he makes my world go round and there is nothing that can change that. Nothing.





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback