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It’s dark in my room…and cold. Harshly cold, as though the northeastern is blowing. I lie there in my bed crying. My tears feel like fire on my cold skin, but then they turn so cold and stop. It feels like they have turned to ice.
I heard someone in the hallway. The steps are trying to be quiet and crafty. Its my mom. I know her footsteps anywhere.
My door shutters for a moment. I turn my head toward the wall. I hear the doorknob turn. There is no sound whatsoever, until my mom speaks.
“Andrew,” she says softly. I can hear her moving to my bed. “It’s very foolish for you to cry. He’s in a better place.” I feel the mattress collapse under her.
“I know,” I said. My voice cracks. I didn’t look at her. “But you’ve never lost a friend. You don’t know how I fell…and you never will.”
She tensed, I could feel every nerve, and muscle in her body harden as I spoke those true words.
“That’s not fair.” She said very quickly. “You know that I lost my best friend in the second grade.”
I say nothing. My want to be alone was over-powering the want for my mom’s comfort. She got my silence and takes her leave. When she’s gone, I close my eyes. Everything came back.
“Yeah, I read this book that says that matter doesn’t exist,” Miles said as he sat on the edge of the gazebo. He always sat there while we waited for Rick.
“Oh really?’ Sharon asked. Everyone was holding their own conversation but I was only listening to theirs.
“Yeah, it also says that gravity doesn’t exist, that it’s only an illusion. It even touches and disproves the Big Bang.” his eyes were full of excitement. “It says that all things were put on this earth for a reason, and that everything was put on earth the exact same way that they are today…ruling out evolution.”
“If gravity is just an illusion and doesn’t really exist, then why don’t we going flying off the planet?” Sharon asked.
“Because, they can’t prove that it really exist.” miles said. He was getting angry at her for raining on his parade.
I had to butt in here. “That’s only your opinion. There are several people out there that don’t believe in the Big Bang or Evolution. It’s only a guess.” I looked to miles to see if he was upset that I invited myself in on their little debate. He seemed pleased. “For all we know, the earth could be upside-down instead of right side-up. We only guess that the world is right side-up.”
Miles looked at me and smiled his thank you smile, while saying…”Exactly.”
The smells of Bananas, the feel of the wind…everything.
Sharon was handing out our usual snacks. The gazebo seemed empty. Miles wasn’t there yet and it was a quarter after five.
“I guess you heard about Miles,” Moses asked as he poured him some apple juice.
“Yes, yes I did.” she was very quiet. She hand never been this quiet before. At least not in the time that I’ve known her.
My curiosity was churned. “What happened to Miles?” everyone looked at me.
“No one’s told you?” Sharon asked.
I shook my head and looked around the group. They were all looking at the ground. What did they not tell me? I asked myself only moments before Sharon spoke.
My eyes were back on Sharon as she told me, “Miles Died.” The look in her eyes was pain. I knew that it had to be true, but I didn’t want to believe it.
“What happened? When?” I had to find out.
“He died yesterday morning,” Moses said. I turned to face him. “He was driving a car and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. The car flipped and he flew through the windshield.”
I looked back to Sharon. “That’s what I heard too.” Everything stopped. I would have loved to say that I didn’t cry, but that would have be a flat-out lie.
My tears came halfway through the meeting. I couldn’t stop them, so I just let them come. I was handed a tissue. All eyes were on me as Rick asked me the question.
“What are your feelings about this…Andrew?” he looked sincere as he asked it.
Why did he have to ask me? I asked myself. My answer came quickly…some of it a lie, but most of it was truth. “Its just really hurts, to know that he’s never coming back. It makes me appreciate the time I was able to spend with him.” I just want to crawl under a rock! I yelled to myself. I want to crawl under a rock and die!!!
My eyes flew open. I was crying now more that I was before. The tears turned into rivers that had no ends to them.
I rolled to my back, and stared up at my ceiling. Two tears found their way into my mouth. It was strange, my tears tasted not of salt, but of sugar.
Closing my eyes again, I could hear Miles’ sweet gentle and soft voice whisper in my ear. It was very faint but I could tell what he said.
“I know, I know. I’m safe and fine.”
That’s all I remember. I was soon lost in deep, sweet dreams and memories of Miles.