January 14, 2011
We were excited, my sister and I. She was gone for nine months but now, now, she was back. She and I got along before she left for school. But it was different now. We were sisters- true, tell each other everything, sisters. The wall holding us back from being vulnerable with each other was gone. People say, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder." I know it. I saw it. I experienced it. The time that lay before us was unknown to us. We had stories to share with each other, memories still to make, laughs to share. It was thrilling to think of how in some ways our relationship had only just began. I remembered a story or a secret to tell her…later. I will tell her, later. Later.

An accident. What is that? I’ll go back and change it. It will go away eventually. Right? Before, an accident was forgetting a pencil for class or leaving my lunch at home. But this, it can't be the same. A car accident. Death. It won't go away. When I leave it comes with me. If I close my eyes and plug my ears I hear it, I see it.
I have two options: live to make Stacey proud or drown in my sorrow. I choose the first. I can cling day to day to the hope that I will see her again. We will share laughs and secrets. Best of all, our time will never run out. Never.

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