Do You Remember?

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I remember you when you and my sister were best friends.
I remember you when you were practically in love with her.
I remember you when you didn’t understand how she could like someone else since you were right there.
I remember you when we were arch nemeses.
I remember you when we would spend our time seeing how long we could continue our sarcasm battles before someone would get stumped and the other declared conqueror.
I remember you when you swore I was in love with you.
I wasn’t.
I remember you when we started to become friends.
I remember you when we would hang out every Tuesday morning.
I remember you when you would freak me out of my skin driving donuts in Grandfather’s yard.
I remember you when we would spend all day laughing about things you would post or the random groups you would start on Facebook.
I remember you when you started dating Megan.
I remember you when I began to look at you in a different light.
I remember you when you changed...for the better.
I remember you when you were no longer as crass as you had been those many years before.
I remember you when you, in my eyes, became the perfect boyfriend.
For her. Not for me.
I remember you when I spent my days thinking about what a great husband you’d be and what a great father you’d be.
For someone else. Not for me.
For someone else’s children. Not for mine.
I remember you when I felt as if we had become the best of friends.
I remember you when you could tell me anything.
I remember you when you would tell me your secret plans; your dreams.

When did that change?
Was it Megan that changed you?
Did she become jealous of our friendship?
Just like she did with you and my sister’s friendship?

I remember you when you put down my dreams.
I remember it wasn’t something major. But
I remember you when my best friend (or who I thought was my best friend) broke the stars my dreams lived on.
I remember you when you told me you were serious.
I remember you when your joke found its way into my heart.
I remember that look on your face, the look in your eyes behind those stupid sunglasses, when your push-over finally stood up to you.

Were you scared when you discovered that I would no longer be your door mat?
Were you scared when you found out you had gone too far?
Were you scared when you saw that I would no longer put up with the crap you shoveled out to me?

I remember you when you “apologized.”
I remember you when you looked at me that way because you felt I was stepping on your girlfriend’s territory.
I remember that was territory I had owned for six years; territory I bought with my hard-earned sweat and dedication.
I remember you when harassing me became an obsession.
I remember you when I made my decision.
I remember you when I decided you were no longer worth it.
I remember you when I made my choice:

If this was how it was going to be,
It was going to be without me.

I remember you.
I remember the real you.
I remember the you before Megan.
I remember the you before you changed.
I remember the real you.
The real you.

Do you remember?





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

JustYourAverageDork said...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 5:28 pm

i really really love this :)

it perfectly describes how a person, someone you thought you knew, can change into a totally different person

i'm making this a favorite.  thanks for writing it :)

 
RallyR This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 6:43 am
Thanks so much for your comment! You have no idea how much that means!! :)
 
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