The Death of 'Us'

October 21, 2010
Ive wanted to cry over you. I didn’t stop crying over you, over what happened, for so long. I blamed myself for being so blind, and sobbed until my body gave way to sleep…countless nights. But no more…

My tears have dried. The sorrow has been replaced with rage. All I feel is rage, confusion, distress, and pain. Anger at what you did, how you never let your guard down to let me in completely. Never a place In your heart for me; I penetrated it a bit, but never found your true emotion. Im enraged at you, and how we never were.

Confusion at why, yet, we still are something. We talk, and I do my best to pretend nothing has changed…nothing has for you. Everything seems normal, but inside I want to scream, to let out my emotions. Why do we pretend? Why do I keep tormenting myself?

I hate you.

No, no, no…I love you.

But that isn’t true anymore either…

Im left drained, disappointed, and numb. All because of us; of me believing there ever could be an ‘us.’ My hope died that day. That day I realized that any hope for ‘us,’ had been obliterated. It took me an eternity to realize this…But what do I do? Keep talking to you, and fake a smile? Or do what I should have a long time ago, and walk away from you for the last time…

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