She seems like a happy person, but if you look closer you can see a sadness deep in her eyes. Years of abuse and rape left her emotionally scarred. She spent her life in foster care. She never knew the meaning of love. She was alone. The depression caused her to go over the edge. She couldn't take it anymore. If you look close enough you can see the scats on her arms, but they aren't nearly as numerous as those on her heart. She's only 17. She's been through more than most people ever have to go through. She knows how it feels to want to die. She knows what it's like to lie in a hospital bed because she went over the edge. 17 and she's already tried to end her life four times. If you had seen her last year you would have thought she was crazy. She was misunderstood. She didn't know what to do. She was rejected. She's getting better, but the pain is still there. She knows what love is and she truly loves people. She doesn't like hurting people, and now she understands that's what she was doing. She has friends, a mom, siblings, and a fiance. She's beginning to like her body. She is making the best of life, but she hides her past. She doesn't talk to anyone. She doesn't want them to know. That's what led to her downfall. Sometimes she just prefers to be left alone. She has a way of reading people's emotions and she's great with kids. She's had a hard life, and no one seems to understand. She pretends to be happy, but she's dying inside. She's lost and misunderstood. She's going to make a difference, no matter what people say. She will survive. She will win.
Life as I knew It
October 21, 2010