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What Would You Change?

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The question was simple, and yet so complex. The worlds spelt out so clearly and yet, the answer so fogged up.
I listened as he asked her that one question, and as I walked away that day I thought hard about it. It wasn’t a proposal, but something else.
If I could change one thing in my life what would it be?
I thought for a moment and then the answer came to me. If I could change one thing, I would laugh with you, cry with you, talk to you, and spend time with you. I would be closer to you, go fishing with you, and make fun of people with you. I would gain a better relationship with you, because I look up to you. I would share more interests and hobbies with you. You’re my big brother, I wish you could see me the way I have come to see you…As you are. That is what I would change. I have this yearning for that, to have a close relationship with you. You mean that much to me.
But the question is, What Would You Change?




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AsIAmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 16, 2010 at 4:06 pm:

The Good:  I loved the imagery and the emotions in this.  Really great writing!

The Bad: Experiment with spacing! The mood can be changed (even in nonfiction) by the way you space things.

The Random: I really enjoyed this, and I know how you feel with the brother.  Mine's just younger.  Good luck!

AsIAm, J7X

 
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thepreechyteenagerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 6:40 am:
This is great.  Everyone sometimes feels like they; like they need to be closer to a certain somone who probably doesn't take them very seriously.  Almost anyone can relate to this, which makes this a very great, heartfelt piece.  Good job.
 
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Diana101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 5:29 pm:

This writing was deep, not in a bad way though. I actually liked it. Some writers can't really write something out of real life events, but you mastered it!!! Notmally, writers put in too many details or not enough details and the story drags or is too short. But, your writing is amazing!!!

     -Diana 101

P.S. Thank you so much for the comment!! And I'm sure I'll have another story on TenInk before to long!!:)

 
Diana101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 5:32 pm :
Since I loved your writing so much, I also tagged it as a favorite:)
 
Lachance replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 7:05 pm :
Thank you so much! You have no idea what that means to me! I love to write, and after reading some of your writing I can see you love it too, and you have a talent for it. And thank you so much for adding it to your favorites. =)
 
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Sliva23 said...
Aug. 14, 2010 at 12:42 am:
Im going through the same thing....i have a big brother and i wantt to get to no him and hang out with him....but he doesnt even no i exist
 
Lachance replied...
Aug. 14, 2010 at 10:18 am :
Yeah my problem is I have no idea how to even start with a closer relationship. Its like no one gets it, no one gets how bad I want this. How bad I want him to see me. I'm glad im not the only one who feels that way about their brother.
 
Sliva23 replied...
Aug. 19, 2010 at 6:48 am :
well u can always start talking to each other about hobbies or if u have a problem maybe see if he can help
 
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