I'm Me

July 26, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


I’m used to it by now. How couldn’t I be? The looks, the sneers, whispers you’ve thought I couldn’t hear. Well, I could.

Of course I know I’m different. I’ve lived with myself my whole life—shocker, isn’t it? I would have to have much less intelligence than I possess to not realize how estranged from others I really am.

You pass snide remarks about my clothes. I apologize that I haven’t worn the “in” clothing that you always do, which tends to cut off your circulation. But if it’s popular, and it’s pretty, you decide it’s worth the discomfort. I never thought so.

My mind—it must run on a different station than everyone else’s. Maybe I’m like Bella. I’m on FM while everyone else is on AM. Or maybe I’m just not tuned into the radio at all.

I don’t feel the need to speak the way you do, laugh the way you do, flirt the way you do. I see a guy, and I may note if he looks cute—nothing more. I feel no urge to run up, giggling and flashing to him, and start picking on him in a way that somehow is supposed to indicate that I like him.

Sure, I’m more intelligent than most, perhaps all of you. I can’t help it. I don’t like it. That doesn’t change anything. But the intelligence isn’t really what matters. Yes I thought so, for a while. But there are others who are intelligent, and they get along just fine…no, that’s not it.

It’s me. I see the world differently than you do. And I like the way I see it. I’m not about to change my views because of some of humanity’s strange notions.

Why do you cover yourself in those foul-smelling chemicals and pastes, that make you look more like a piece of art than a human being? I simply don’t see the appeal. You look down on me for this. I really couldn’t care. Must I make my curly brown hair curlier? My bright brown eyes more vivid? My long, dark lashes more emphasized? I don’t see why. I look fine the way I am.

I talk funny. That’s what you always tell me. I talk like an old person. Not really. Just because I choose to use larger words, am I incomprehensible? Doubtful. You just want something else to tease me with. You’ve got it.

No, I’m not a teacher’s pet merely because I answer the questions you seem too busy to care about, or because I speak to them after class occasionally. So what if I’m a writer? It’s really none of your business.

You know what? I used to care. I used to cry. I cry not only when I’m sad, but when I’m angry, did you know that? Of course you didn’t, you never cared enough to find out. But I don’t cry anymore. If my eyes are over-bright, it’s because I’ve just gotten an idea. One that you’ll never have. Or maybe it’s just because I’m comfortable with myself—which is more than you can say.

So I’ll keep my strange clothing, my strange views, my unadorned face, my way of speaking. And if you don’t like it? Too bad.


The author's comments:
This was just venting. Writing is my way of venting. I felt much better after writing this. And every word of it is true.

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This article has 53 comments.


on Dec. 13 2013 at 1:33 pm
You remind me a lot of sherlock. He's different and speaks differently. I love it. And I know what you're going through, I go through the same stuff every day. I hope you feel better c:

glitzgirl66 said...
on Feb. 28 2013 at 11:01 am
glitzgirl66, Des Moines, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
You're perfect just the way you are! Don't let anyone tell you different. I really liked your entry. 

Steph York said...
on Feb. 7 2013 at 6:36 pm
Steph York, Brownfield, Maine
0 articles 3 photos 7 comments
All I have to say is; AMAZING!! Very nice and very moving. Makes me think more about being myself and not caring what other people think about me! So great job!! 

on Jul. 10 2012 at 2:12 am
Pika_Princess, Escondido, California
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments
Wonderfully written and I can't help agreeing. I know how you feel and it's better not to care about what others think. I found myself nodding in agreement throughout the piece. Stay you and don't ever change!

on Apr. 11 2012 at 9:40 pm
EPluribusUnum DIAMOND, Woodbine, Maryland
59 articles 24 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head)."
-Sylvia Plath

Tell it to 'em!

on May. 2 2011 at 5:20 pm
eileentotheleft BRONZE, Los Alamos, New Mexico
4 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Perfectly perfect is fine (or so the story goes), but nature left all on her own will make the perfect rose." -Persnickity

I agree with Madgie. This is an excellently written piece; however, it did come off as very pretentious, making the reader uncomfortable. I understand that this is a piece constructed solely to vent, but you made the whole article very unapproachable. Readers want to relate.

Either way, great piece. Your other work is great, also. :)


Madgie BRONZE said...
on Apr. 6 2011 at 8:37 pm
Madgie BRONZE, Antioch, California
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments

The writing was pretty good, but it came off rather arrogant in certain places. I was torn between being able to relate to it and being uncomfortable with the arrogance. I also disagree with a few things. I used to turn my nose up at make-up too, but now I see it as  more of an art form. Like you mentioned in the story, it's more like expressing creativity. Just like writing is expressing creativity. And for the record, I still don't wear make-up regardless.

I matured a lot faster than my peers, too. However, I'm uncomfortable even typing the previous sentence because it feels arrogant. The whole article was that way, and it's enough to make someone feel awkward. Good writing though, I hope you continue to improve!


on Mar. 29 2011 at 6:06 pm
kristen178 BRONZE, Bedford, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 9 comments
I liked this. The writing was great, and I really liked your use of descriptive language. I do hope that you are not overly arrogant, though. I definitely see a bit of ego; I don't believe it is a large chunk, but it is not miniscule either. Other than that, great work on the article and knowing "big" words! Haha.

on Nov. 13 2010 at 11:51 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! Sure!

Shahed GOLD said...
on Nov. 13 2010 at 11:13 pm
Shahed GOLD, Tulsa, Oklahoma
16 articles 2 photos 350 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People are like tea bags, they don't realize their own strength until they're dropped in hot water "
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway."

I dont usually read in this section .. but this is such a good one :) well done!

 

Check out my work :)


on Sep. 18 2010 at 2:40 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! I don't write a whooole lot of them, but sometimes I'm inspired for one, or, like with this one, I'm trying to vent.

on Sep. 18 2010 at 2:32 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Lol thanks. *high-fives back* I like your nonfiction pieces a lot :)

on Sep. 18 2010 at 2:27 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Yay! You are officially the first person to catch that irony there. Congratulations! *high fives*

 

Aaaanyway, I was not doing that because I like Twilight, I merely sited that as a reference because of the whole "brain is on a different channel" thing.

 

Thank you!


on Sep. 18 2010 at 2:18 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

This would have been perfect except for the fact that you compared yourself to Bella. (!!!argh!!!) Because you seem like a strong woman confident in your oddballness whereas she is not. And that comparison kind of defeated the purpose of "I am a nonconformist" b/c everyone likes Twilight. Or I guess I could kindly read it as irony, your way of showing the "in" crowd that you actually do have something in common with them. A piece of irony I really loved--it made me lol--was the sentence, "Just because I choose to use larger words, am I incomprehensible?" (Incomprehensible? What? I don't get that word, it's too big!!) Very nice. ;)

on Sep. 14 2010 at 5:51 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Haha nice:D

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 13 2010 at 10:12 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

I feel the same way.  Society is a bit sad, isn't it?  But at least the oddballs get to be happy! And I do have fun. :)

on Sep. 9 2010 at 8:43 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

I'm sorry:( I actually have major back problems too, I fractured both sides of my lower back and it's a non union which means it'll never fully heal and it pains me a lot and could paralyze me but....I'm still goin'....which is why I'm crazy.

on Sep. 9 2010 at 5:39 pm
whyshouldIlove SILVER, Algiers, Other
6 articles 4 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin

:)

BTW, by reading your profile, I noticed that u liked gymnastics... GYM IS MY LIFE! but I had back problems so I quit and now I have physical therapies :/ but I still love to watch Miobi and the championships :D


on Sep. 9 2010 at 4:04 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you! Haha that's funny:D I'm glad it made you feel better.

on Sep. 9 2010 at 1:43 pm
whyshouldIlove SILVER, Algiers, Other
6 articles 4 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin

I see that your way of ventine is writing... mine is talking to the mirror! Lol !

I know exactley how you feel, and I can truly say that I feel better after reading this too!



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