The beginning of my new life started when I moved in with my grandmother or as I call her grandma. My life before I moved there will be saved for another day. This story will be about a big change in my life that changed me forever and how I became me because of this one person.

Let me start by telling you the basics what I was like before I moved in with my grandma. I was one of those nice and quiet people. I went to school then went home and either just done homework or watched my nephew. Then I was off to bed like a good little girl. I never was myself I was always too shy to express myself. I was scared of changing myself because mostly that’s how I had always been, besides a few sports. I have two sisters (Melissa and Kassie), an older brother (Brian), and a younger brother (Eric). My papa on my dad’s side, my mom and my oldest brother were the only ones in our home when I went to my grandma’s. My little brother lived with someone in that neighborhood and my dad was in prison. My two sisters had there own family and homes.

When I moved to my grandma’s it was a big change. My family didn’t really make that much money and we had a small house. My grandma was wealthy a little. She had a nice big yard and house. She had a bunch of beautiful gardens full of flowers around the house and about a dozen blueberry bushes on one side of the house. I was 15 ½ years old when I started living with her. I didn’t know her that much before I moved in, even though my family used to see her every Friday. My grandma and I had no idea I was going to end up living with her for a while until that day when I went to her house. I never asked for her to let me live there and neither did I know if my mom asked her if I could stay or if my grandma offered. She let me in the door, while I was carrying a box of my clothes and told me to put it in one of her spare rooms. When I walked passed her with the clothes I can tell she’s upset. At first I thought she was mad at me but, when I think back about it she was never mad at me. I was actually coming from my sister’s house, which whom I lived with for a month, to my grandmas. I basically got kicked out because I was trying to argue at my sister’s (kassie) now ex-boyfriend for throwing a chair at her and missing her by an inch, then he tells her to get out of the house. Grandma never told me to do that much in the house, which I was surprised of. There were three simple things she asked of me they were clean your bedroom, clean up after yourself and clean your clothes. I did a few other things in the house for her every once and a while, especially when she got sicker. Sometimes she would think I was crazy because when she was in the laundry room for hours I would be cleaning the whole house and when she was done in the laundry room she would usually find me cleaning under a carpet. Its funny she would say, “What are you doing, you’ve done enough”. I would say, “So your house can be clean and to make you happy. I know you like it when your house is clean”. She liked shopping, mostly for stuff to go in her house for decoration. When I went with her shopping she would spend hours doing it and my feet hurt every time. Half the time we did shop she would buy me clothes. To me, she was the best cook in the world. One of my favorites that she made was her homemade potato soap. The meal she usually cooked the most was some roast beef, mashed potatoes with her special made gravy, and biscuit’s. It makes my tummy rumble right now. Her green beans are the best in the world. Her cookies and deserts would make your mouth water for more. When ever she would fix a big meal she would ask me to finish the rest because she hated wasting food, I guess I got that from her because I do that now. I miss her cooking and if she had a restaurant of her own hers would be my favorite. The most out of all the things I miss about her is just talking to her late at night while watching TV. We would talk about school, life, careers, etc. One of the main things we talked about was how bad the world can be. I would tell her how I wish the world was a better place and she would say the same, stuff like what has the world turned into. She would also talk about her past a lot to me. All the places she grew up, that she was a cheerleader in high school and her three husbands (who all passed away). She had a bad habit of picking favorites out of my brothers, sisters, and me. First her favorites were my sister Kassie and my little brother Eric but, like 4 or 5 months after I was with her she told me I was her favorite which surprised me. She said, “I know I should not pick favorites but, I can’t help it”. She got really bad sick and ended up going to the hospital. She died four days after her birthday on December 12, 2006. She was in the hospital for sometime and a few days before she died she could not talk. The doctors told us there was nothing they could do; when I went to visit her I could tell she was dying by looking into her eyes and the way she looked at everyone on her last day here. She looked at me with wide eyes like she was saying good-bye and I love you. Three or four minutes after my sister and me left the hospital to go to my grandma’s house she died. We didn’t get the news until we got there. The phone rings and terror grips over me. My sister picks up the phone and I’m looking at her face wishing what I was thinking would not come true but, 20 seconds after she picked it up I saw the way my sisters face changed. Her face was filled with complete horror and shock. When she said the words “Crystal grandma’s dead” I couldn’t feel my legs, I fall back words onto the sofa.
This is the first time I ever felt really broken in my life. In my mind the days go by so quickly it’s a blur, I don’t even remember her funeral even though it was only 3 years ago. I have a hard time remembering much of what happened like for a year after her death. I went into a deep depression after her death until a couple months into 2009. I dropped out of school in 2007 when I was in the middle of my junior year. This semester is my first time getting back into school and hopefully I’ll finish. I arose from my depression and I’m becoming everything I want to be. I am who I want to be but, I’ll always be trying to make myself better. My grandma helped me accomplish that and I’ll always have my memory of her but, I miss her. I may act weird but, one reason I may do this is because weirdness can bring laughter a lot and I want to be my own person not just another person on the street like everyone else. I’m different, that’s what makes me special. My grandma said that to me once. Part of her is in me, so I’ll bring her to life again threw me.