The house is deserted and lonely. Perfect silence. Old high-school diaries thrown on the floor, flipping their pages, two years later. Flash backs keep haunting her. Unforgettable years with all the ups and downs. Different characters with different attitudes managed to make her five whole years worth it. Autographs remind her of those whom no longer are part of her life. Others who remained the best people on earth. The smart, talented, stupid above all teachers not forgetting the Einstein looking one. The arrogant behaviours then detentions or staying after-school which were of popular demand. The daily punishment of wearing the grey blazer. Poems, writings, sketches, love letters, funny pictures could be seen in every page. A tear ran down her cheek. Feeling the loss of the early teenage years. Knowing she can’t go back in time, to the one’s who made a difference in her life, to the one she loved. Remembering the worst year of them all while seeking revenge. Begging Him to bring her back to life. He was gone but not forgotten. That’s when she lost direction once and for all. Simply wishing for the pretty younger her being mummy’s girl and daddy’s princess. Not knowing what the so-called ‘life’ really means. Not knowing about any bad habits, results and consequences. Not aware of the tragic causes to ruin the bloody life. Willing to erase the imaginative adventures that led her to the road that leads to nowhere, to an en-closed, weird, dark path. The high self-esteem and highly-spirited character she once had was destroyed with a complete heart-break. Missing her loudness, crazy nights, the wild unstoppable dances, stupid fights and all. She seems to have courage to go on. Though she can easily surrender. Her face can’t show how much she’s suffering deep down. A happy-pretended smile replaces her sadness. Always wondering upon the night skies if she will ever be the happy girl someday. Why was it so unfair? What was the point of living in this nasty world? Or the people I guess? Yet all questions remained unanswered. Expressionless. Leaving her uncertain of what’s awaiting her the following day. A blurred future.
April 13, 2010