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I am, once again, saying goodbye

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I am, once again, saying goodbye. I return so often, I know it's true. But you have hold of me. On my knees begging myself to detach myself from you. I can't bring myself to believe it. That after all of the swears, the goodnights, the closing of our eyes. All I got out of you was a goodbye. So it seems that I am here, stuck, stranded.
Attempting almost the impossible. Mulling over details and pouring myself through the cracks. Trying to, if only for a second, find you again,somewhere inside of your sin.
Here I am, a walking procalamation of your disgust. A parton saint of your distain. Here I am, celebrating mediocrity.
Divulging things I know should never take form. Hardly seperating fact from fiction. Feeding you, feeding my addiction. Striking myself down with terrible vindiction.
Believing the only truth is my affection. Dreaming while awake within your arms. Escaping reality, doubting my intellingence at all cost. Finding my footstep back to my place to celebrate your grave. I won't ask for forgiveness, I always told you you needed to behave.





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