I remember the first time I saw you so clearly. It’s recorded in my mind in high definition. I was coming down the stairs at school as you were walking across the atrium. You had on your typical everyday outfit: white t-shirt and blue jeans. I smiled to myself as I watched you walk down the hall, your back to me and your flip-flops making smacking noises on the tile floor. I’d heard of you from my best friend. You and her were in the same music class. That was at the beginning of September.
My best friend and I were in the same chemistry class as you. That’s where I met you. The next few months I will never forget. I don’t think I ever can. They were both happy and miserable. Exhilarating and disappointing.
We were both the shy, quite type but everything you did and said made me smile. I loved making you laugh by telling corny jokes or by doing silly things, mainly to watch that smile take over you lips. We never flirted. We just talked about unimportant things really. My best friend, and a mutual friend of ours, was the person we would take to about one another. I don’t know what she told you about me but I’d hear every time if you said something nice about me and I heard about it when you were wondering if you should ask me to the homecoming dance. You hesitated because you didn’t know if I would say yes. Our mutual friend tried to convince you to ask me but I’ll never know what made you decide not to. Homecoming came and went. I wished you were there to see how nice I looked.
I knew you liked me. Two things proved it. The first happened in government class where we sat on opposite sides of the room. One day, the boy who sat in the desk next to mine was absent. During the middle of class, I left the room and when I came back, I found you had picked up your stuff and moved to the empty desk next to mine. Permanently. All I could do was smile and jokingly say, “What are you doing?” Your answer was a sweet, shy smile.
The other thing was when over winter break, you and your family went on vacation and you brought me back a magnet. I still have it and I always will. You had several close friends but I was the only one you brought back a gift. I’d only known you for a few months.
By this point, people were kinda starting to figure “us” out, whatever we were. You made a habit of waiting for me by my locker so we could walk to classes together. Other days I’d wait for you as you left your books in your locker and we’d walk to the cafeteria for lunch.
A few months later and all that kinda stopped. It looked like you weren’t any closer to asking me out. I waited until I couldn’t wait any more. That’s when I slowly started losing interest. We were at a dead end before we even had a chance to really get anywhere. Of course, we remained friends. That’s what we always were.
Some weeks passed, maybe a month or two before another girl caught your eye but nothing happened with her either. In the end she ended up doing something really stupid and mean to you. I can’t remember what but I’m glad I can’t because it just would have made me mad all over again. By spring, another girl had caught your eye. This time you picked a lively one. Where you were shy, she was bold. Were you were reserved, she was outgoing. She basically did all the pushing until you two finally started dating. It didn’t bother me at first. I had convinced myself that I was over you. Besides, your new girlfriend and I became fast friends. Your relationship with her lasted all the way to our graduation. On that day, we were “graduation buddies”; we walked together on that stage, sat next to each other, got our diplomas and walked off the stage arm in arm. I’m glad we shared that experience together.
A few days later, I had a barbeque with all our close group of friends. That’s when I noticed you and her becoming distant. You hardly talked to each other and when you two were together, it looked forced. My mind said, “This shouldn’t matter to you. You’re fine, you’re over him” but my heart said, “No you’re not, you idiot! You like him now as much as you ever did.” Ah, the everlasting, inexorable battle of the heart and mind. That’s when I realized that I never stopped liking you and all those feelings I thought I had pushed away came rushing back. You weren’t perfect but you were you and that was enough for me to look past your imperfections and see the cute, musically talented boy I fell for. Still, there was nothing I could or would do. We were both moving in a few weeks. High school was over, summer had come and our days together were numbered.
The next time I saw you was at a friend’s house. It was more or less the same group of people. It was a good day. We all hung out, roasted marshmallows, took pictures, and listened to music as we talked and joked around. Before you left that day, I hugged you and said, “I hope we see each other again before I leave.”
“You will”, you said.
“Promise?” I asked.
You smiled and said your last words to me, “I promise.”
That was the last time I saw you. The day of my leaving, I got a text from you. It said that you were sorry we didn’t see each other one last time but you loved me and wished me the best of luck. The text ended with “We will see each other again in the future, I know it. Much love.” I remember smiling when I read it. That was the first time you had said, “I love you” to me.
We’ve written each other a few times since then. I miss you. I’ll never forget you and I know we will see each other again. After all, you promised, right?
My best friend and I were in the same chemistry class as you. That’s where I met you. The next few months I will never forget. I don’t think I ever can. They were both happy and miserable. Exhilarating and disappointing.
We were both the shy, quite type but everything you did and said made me smile. I loved making you laugh by telling corny jokes or by doing silly things, mainly to watch that smile take over you lips. We never flirted. We just talked about unimportant things really. My best friend, and a mutual friend of ours, was the person we would take to about one another. I don’t know what she told you about me but I’d hear every time if you said something nice about me and I heard about it when you were wondering if you should ask me to the homecoming dance. You hesitated because you didn’t know if I would say yes. Our mutual friend tried to convince you to ask me but I’ll never know what made you decide not to. Homecoming came and went. I wished you were there to see how nice I looked.
I knew you liked me. Two things proved it. The first happened in government class where we sat on opposite sides of the room. One day, the boy who sat in the desk next to mine was absent. During the middle of class, I left the room and when I came back, I found you had picked up your stuff and moved to the empty desk next to mine. Permanently. All I could do was smile and jokingly say, “What are you doing?” Your answer was a sweet, shy smile.
The other thing was when over winter break, you and your family went on vacation and you brought me back a magnet. I still have it and I always will. You had several close friends but I was the only one you brought back a gift. I’d only known you for a few months.
By this point, people were kinda starting to figure “us” out, whatever we were. You made a habit of waiting for me by my locker so we could walk to classes together. Other days I’d wait for you as you left your books in your locker and we’d walk to the cafeteria for lunch.
A few months later and all that kinda stopped. It looked like you weren’t any closer to asking me out. I waited until I couldn’t wait any more. That’s when I slowly started losing interest. We were at a dead end before we even had a chance to really get anywhere. Of course, we remained friends. That’s what we always were.
Some weeks passed, maybe a month or two before another girl caught your eye but nothing happened with her either. In the end she ended up doing something really stupid and mean to you. I can’t remember what but I’m glad I can’t because it just would have made me mad all over again. By spring, another girl had caught your eye. This time you picked a lively one. Where you were shy, she was bold. Were you were reserved, she was outgoing. She basically did all the pushing until you two finally started dating. It didn’t bother me at first. I had convinced myself that I was over you. Besides, your new girlfriend and I became fast friends. Your relationship with her lasted all the way to our graduation. On that day, we were “graduation buddies”; we walked together on that stage, sat next to each other, got our diplomas and walked off the stage arm in arm. I’m glad we shared that experience together.
A few days later, I had a barbeque with all our close group of friends. That’s when I noticed you and her becoming distant. You hardly talked to each other and when you two were together, it looked forced. My mind said, “This shouldn’t matter to you. You’re fine, you’re over him” but my heart said, “No you’re not, you idiot! You like him now as much as you ever did.” Ah, the everlasting, inexorable battle of the heart and mind. That’s when I realized that I never stopped liking you and all those feelings I thought I had pushed away came rushing back. You weren’t perfect but you were you and that was enough for me to look past your imperfections and see the cute, musically talented boy I fell for. Still, there was nothing I could or would do. We were both moving in a few weeks. High school was over, summer had come and our days together were numbered.
The next time I saw you was at a friend’s house. It was more or less the same group of people. It was a good day. We all hung out, roasted marshmallows, took pictures, and listened to music as we talked and joked around. Before you left that day, I hugged you and said, “I hope we see each other again before I leave.”
“You will”, you said.
“Promise?” I asked.
You smiled and said your last words to me, “I promise.”
That was the last time I saw you. The day of my leaving, I got a text from you. It said that you were sorry we didn’t see each other one last time but you loved me and wished me the best of luck. The text ended with “We will see each other again in the future, I know it. Much love.” I remember smiling when I read it. That was the first time you had said, “I love you” to me.
We’ve written each other a few times since then. I miss you. I’ll never forget you and I know we will see each other again. After all, you promised, right?
Post a Comment
Be the first to comment on this article!