Sometimes, when you need it most, you find yourself friendless, and feeling so insignificant and small that you think you might just shrink until you were nothing but a speck against the mundane form which man takes when he enters the real world. And of course, you would like nothing more than shrivel, and become unimaginably small and unimportant.

You have all of these emotions swelling up inside of you, but at the same time, you feel unbearably numb, and can’t think straight due to the lifeless feeling inside of you. What is it? Sadness? Worthlessness? Anger? There is no way to describe the terrible blend of hectic sentiments you are experiencing. But somehow you know that this is exactly what you need, you can feel it, it might be hard to accept, but deep inside you, you’re sure that this is what might cure you.

And just when you need your friends the most, when you are unable to bear this burden any longer and you yearn to bond with others and become normal again, they all disappear; vanish. You are left alone and without anyone in the world. The ironic thing about this is that there are always people surrounding you, at school, and at home, but there is his barrier that you have built around yourself. It’s almost as if you have stuffed yourself into a cement box with no air holes, and no openings. You can see what’s taking place outside of your door, and you are unconcerned about all of it. Nothing seems to matter anymore, nothing affects you, and in some ways, this box that you sit and suffocate in, becomes your solitude, and keeps you safe from all other cares. Your grades drop, your personality becomes a bland shadow of who you used to be, and deep within the cement walls, you are choking for air.

This numbness overcomes you, and you start trying to find other ways of making yourself feel anything but this oppressing weight, crushing down on you from the cement. You start looking for other ways to get some different reaction from your body, you throw yourself into tantrums and fits of rage and you hurl yourself down onto your bed, grasp on to things tighter, and grind your teeth, praying that one of these things will make you feel something, make you feel anything. And some go as far as to cause physical pain to themselves, just to feel the soreness and throbbing it brings. Anything is better than the sedated sensation they feel constantly.

But that’s just not true.

I have felt this pain.

Time heals all things.

There is hope.