I’m that kid that sits in the back of the class that never talks or smiles or does anything, really. I’m the one that just does their work, falls asleep, or maybe just spends an hour on their phone in each class. Yep, that’s me…well kind of. I notice everything: the couples kissing in the doorways where they think no one will see them, the small mistakes that people make (which make me laugh every time), and their hushed smiles they make when they see something they like.

People say I’m a “good listener” even though I don’t really know what that means at all. I just sit and listen… is that hard? People say I seem rude because I never talk. People say I seem so nice because I never talk. People say I might just be awkward. I don’t really get it. I’m quiet because I’m quiet. Does that make sense? No…not really I guess.

I love to observe people. I love learning about them and noticing their small quirks that you would never notice if you just talked all day. You can actually get to know someone pretty well just by the way they act. Due to the lack of an extroverted personality, you can probably guess that I don’t really have too many friends— which is pretty stereotypical. But, that’s not really true at all. I have great friends and quite a bit of them too, maybe not as many as the social butterflies that seem to spread their friendship wings over everyone but you get what I mean. I like to tell myself that I talk so much more with my friends and I’m actually really not that quiet after all, but then I’d be saying lies. Not saying that I never talk to my friends, but I don’t talk as much as everyone else. This is pretty awkward: it’s as if I know what I want to say and I’m ready to say it, I’ve even rehearsed it 20 times in my head before this. But then when I’m about to say it, it’s already too late and if I say something now, it will just be… weird. It’s like if you were about to eat something but then a bird came and scooped it away, would you still bite? Yeah, I thought that would be a no.

Another thing that strikes me is that people believe that, since you’re quiet, you’re always paying attention in class and you always have good grades… but that’s not quite the case. Again, I’m not saying this all true but, I know I’m not the best in some classes. A lot of people make so many assumptions. They like to think that maybe you’re always sad or maybe you’re just shy. I know I am but please don’t ask me about it… that’s just awkward. Also, people like to believe that since you’re quiet you don’t do much. That’s another thing I don’t understand too well either. I know being quiet and being a cheerleader is a bit odd and so is being in the choir too. You wouldn’t expect it. But I mean, is it really that big of a shock? We’re normal humans too. Something that really bothers me is when people are amazed or shocked when they hear me talk as if I’ve never talked in my life before! Am I that quiet?

I really don’t feel much like that quiet kid all too much. Yes, I don’t talk much. Yes, I don’t smile too much either. But, I’m not what people think I am.