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Elementary Blues

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We have all had embarrassing childhood moments and memories. Forgetting to wash your hands after using the restroom, scratching your nose in the middle of class, etc. But what are my embarrassing childhood moments you ask? Well, you are about to find that out right now.

It all began in the gymnasium, when I was only in the first grade. I really had to go to the bathroom, but the P.E. teacher kept telling me to wait. So I had no choice, but to let it all out on the gym floor. At first, my friend thought it was water, but after smelling it, he realized that the liquid was not water, but instead was urine! So I had to walk down to the office to get a new fresh pair of pants, and as this was happening, my classmates were laughing at me as if this had never happened to them. But there was another surprise waiting for me at the office. My mom!

At first my mom was kind of laughing, but then after seeing how badly I had wet my pants, she kind of sort of felt sorry for  me. So she told me to change into the fresh pair of pants in the boys’ bathroom, and so I went. But after I had finished changing, the bathroom door was locked from the outside, and so I couldn’t get outside! I tried banging on the door, but either no one had heard me, or they just didn’t really care about what I was going through. So instead of trying to ask for help, which clearly wasn’t working, I decided to just sit there and cry.

I realized that crying wasn’t going to help me, so I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, and decided to just sit there while staring around the bathroom(it’s not like I could do anything else anyway).

So after waiting in the bathroom for 30 minutes, I saw a light of hope as the janitor opened the door and let me out. I would’ve said thank you, but I was just so happy to be set free from the room that smells of sweat and unflushed toilets. Freedom had never felt any greater, and couldn’t have felt any greater that day. Because in my entire first grade year, I had only encountered bad luck and embarrassment twice. But that wasn’t my only embarrassing year unfortunately.

So it was the first day of second grade, and the teacher had passed out fun dip candy and had told us to write our favorite word out of the fun dip powder, by writing on the powder with the fun dip stick. I thought this activity was going to go fairly well, but boy was I wrong, because I had spilled the entire fun dip powder onto my seat after opening it! So there I was, with my classmates staring at me as if I was a buffoon. The teacher had to clean it all up, because apparently some of the powder had spilled onto the floor as well. I apologized, but she just kept going about her business, as if I hadn’t even said anything. So I decided to just go about my business as well.

After that I had been instructed by the teacher to go to the bathroom to wash my hands, but apparently I couldn’t see the bathroom gender sign because I had accidentally walked into the girls’ bathroom. But lucky for me, it was unoccupied. So I decided to unsuspectingly walk into the boy's’ bathroom.


So as you can see, my luck in elementary school wasn’t too pleasant. In fact in second grade I had spilled an entire pouch of fun dip powder onto the classroom floor. And then in third grade I had accidentally walked into the girls’ bathroom. What is the lesson here you ask? Well the lesson here is that always be prepared to cover your mistakes in elementary school, because you wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of a classroom of 28 immature elementary students.




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