Through Shock, There Comes An Awakening

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The nurse slowly approaches the family waiting room, her face puffy and blotched with tears.

“Oh dear, this is not good news,” I tell myself.

Hesitant, the nurse walks towards my chair and lightly grasps my hand.

"Honey, I-I'm sorry, but your father…He's gone,” she says hoarsely as she gushes into tears.

As sadness strikes me like thunder, anger surges me through me like lightening.

Too devastated and unaware of my actions, I storm towards the other family waiting room where two teenage brothers are sitting.

Angrily, I yank the phone landline and thrust it towards the teenage brothers who scrimmage their way towards the door.

“YOU KILLED MY FATHER,” I scream at them.

My mother rushes, picks up the landline, and tells me repeatedly calm down.

For years, I’ve wondered why I behaved the way I did towards those teenagers.

Today, I realize, it was because I wanted a ‘do-over’ in my life. A do-over to tell my dad and I was sorry and loved him.  I wanted to have a chance to apologize to my father for all the anger shown towards him and reconcile our father-daughter bond which had diminished over the years.

I always understood my father had poor health and was expected to not live as long. However, I wallowed in a lake of selfishness.

Death is sudden. Life is nearer to the end of the tunnel than we think. Learn to love your relatives and friends like there’s no tomorrow.






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