As I drive alone in my car I tend to either dance badly, sing badly, or think. During the fall and spring when the weather is mild and the stars come out, I roll down the windows, turn up the volume and pick up the pace. I'll hurl myself into a place where the wind hits my face and things become clear. I think during these times. I think about all of the people I have known and how they have affected me in one way or another. I wonder if all of those people remember me. Does the girl in my English class who went out of her way to say hi know that she reminded me that humanity is capable of random acts of kindness? Does the guy with the wild hair at school know that I hope my locks emulate his at some point? Is my dad's family aware I realize that they will never truly accept me? Does my mom's family know that I treasure my time with them and that they are some of the few people that never fail to make me laugh? It amazes me that so many lives go into the creation of one personality. My dad taught me to be angry. My mother taught me to love unconditionally. My little sister teaches me that it is possible to find joy in every little thing. So, as the wind cools my face and ruffles my hair and music fills my ears I understand, at that moment, that I am a part of something so much bigger than just me. I know I am not alone. It is at that moment that I come to an understanding with the life God has given me.
February 1, 2009