Little Do We Know - Part 2 | Teen Ink

Little Do We Know - Part 2

December 9, 2012
By Snikerdoodle PLATINUM, Leander, Texas
Snikerdoodle PLATINUM, Leander, Texas
21 articles 2 photos 18 comments

The lodge chairs weren’t very comfortable. They never had been though, so as I plopped mine down beside Gabe and Ronny, I was prepared for the lousy cushion and stiff back. People were crowding around the large fire place, getting ready for our night church service, the place abuzz with chatter and laughter. Above our heads, the lights twined around the rafters glowed warmly, giving off a comforting light that contrasted with the night outside.
I sat with my hymnal firmly in my hands, giddiness about bubbling over, and thought about how great the training school session had been already. I’d only been at camp for two days and yet, it might have been two years. I felt like I’d never left.
As people began to gather and open their hymnals to the correct number, still whispering and giggling with one another, I leaned over to whisper to Ronny. However, at that exact moment a young man near the front stood up and said, “I found a twenty dollar bill in my hymnal!”
Everyone looked up quickly and some laughed and broke into applause as the guy smiled and sat back down again, laughing with a mutual friend. It took me a second, but I quickly remembered who the guy was.
Kevin. Hayley’s ex-boyfriend.
Turning to my own hymnal, I flipped it upside down and shook the pages, hoping to see something green fall out as well. Nothing. Smirking, I admitted to myself that some people had all the luck…

The roar of conversation after the service was almost deafening. I threaded my way through the throng of people, heading towards the door, hoping to get a ride back down to Sky Valley on the bus. It seemed as though some people had already left and I didn’t want to be one of the ones left behind.
I hurried for the door out to the deck and shoved it open, pushing out into the dark night.
I was stopped on the porch by the sight of two people talking right beside me. It was a girl I’d only vaguely met and that same guy that had just pulled a twenty dollar bill out of a church hymnal.
And for some reason, in that instant, I spoke up.
I don’t know why, maybe it was the fact that I was in a good mood or that this guy had just gotten money out of going to church, I couldn’t tell you. All I know is that I felt my mouth working before I even knew what my mind had decided to say.
“So…You’re going to buy me ice cream with that right?” I heard myself say, catching the guy’s attention and drawing it away from the conversation he was having. Staring me directly in the face, totally not fazed, he responded, “Sure, if you’ll go with me.”
Again I found myself replying instinctively. “I’ll go.”
The guy smiled wider and looked at me for a moment, which was kind of hard to do in the dark, with the bright lodge windows silhouetting me.
“Do you want to walk down to Sky Valley together?” He asked suddenly.
I paused for a second. This was Hayley’s ex-boyfriend, someone off limits to me since I was her best friend, but maybe she wouldn’t mind if we were just friends. Besides, I’d made a decision not to date this summer and I was going to stick to it; if it was the last thing I did.
Lifting an eyebrow, I smirked snidely. “Do you even know my name?”
The guy thought for a moment and said, “Uh…no…Wait! It’s Rachael.”
I was surprised.
So what else could I do?
I walked with him.


The author's comments:
Little do we know what matters and who is really important.

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This article has 1 comment.


Beila BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2015 at 3:22 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

This piece is *so* much more fun! The action is really picking up from Part 1. :) The way you establish a clear setting right off the bat and stick with one detailed scene really creates the set-up you need for a believable character interaction. I LOVE her almost accidental flirting, almost like an afterthought, and I love the way his boldness means he doesn't let it slide. Also, he knows her name! It's the perfect way to catch her off guard and to escalate the plot! I hope you're going to write a Part 3! My big suggestion, as with Part 1, is to focus even more on detail. Think five senses, think eyes and smiles and hand gestures. The more you can do of that kind of detail, the more I'm there with Rachael, in her moment, and that's where I want to be!