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We become Us

Dear You,


Do you remember Me and the great time We had together? Do You remember the times We sat and stared to each other for hours. And hours? I do. I remember everything about You. The way your hair always flew into your face stubbornly. You were stubborn too. The time You held my hand when I was scared of IT coming after me, hid my eyes from darkness. How You used to sing wildly off key but your voice was beautiful. Still is, I remember.


Do You even miss Me like I miss You? I miss the way You laughed at my jokes that never even made sense, even to Me. You would give Me your coat because the soft wind gave my skin goose bumps, and You only had a thin shirt on. The shirt said, "High School Bites." I remember. Its your favorite book series when We were something so special. When We were Us. Please, tell my soul You miss me. At least a little. My heart will crush even farther if you tell me otherwise, it will fly sadly into a deep abyss where dreams go to die, painfully and slowly.


You left me. You always said to never let words affect your mood, but what if the words are too true that they scar you? Did I hurt you, or scare you into doing something that dramatic? You told me a year in advanced, but that was before We became Us.


How we met, this memory is amusing. One of the few amusing ones I have left of You. Dancing wildly in the sky was a thousand colors. Blues, yellows, greens, reds, and even a lonely sad gray. The gray was sad in the dance. Gray crashed the party and everyone ignored him. Your eyes are the same gray. You ditched your family. They didn't care enough to see You walking to the lake. I walked over to You.


"Hey," I said rather lamely, "mind if I sit with You?"


You seemed confused for a moment, your mouth hanging open. I guessed this is new to you; making friends. You told me you didn't like people. I believe You now.


"Sure," You mumbled, "but I'm going to run. Just a heads up."


Then I thought you were talking about the lake, or your neglectful family, or even your home. I had no idea what you really meant. Such a fool I was.


"You're all alone." I stated, but I was really thinking why. Why are You all alone at such a beautiful moment? It must be shared.


You smiled faintly. Your smile, even that small smile was pure melody to my eyes, "Not anymore."


We became Us.


You told me You don't believe in Love. It's a cliche topic, almost as common as breathing. So, why get worked up over such a common thing?


Because, my dear, it's so common it becomes the most precious thought your mind creates.


You stole my clothes. I was okay with that. It meant that You are mine. We were so happy. I helped You out of your shell. The shell made of despair, tears, and inhuman pain. Peeling the layers back as slowly and softly as I can I saw the real you. A happier you. The You that tackled me for no real reason. The You who held my hand. A person who made me happy for no one reason. It was the sum of all others.


We weren't Us. We became You and Me.


All great things never last, huh? We weren't a 'thing' but We were an unidentifiable clockwork of confusion who care deeply for each other. That confusion blew into an explosion too great for my mind. You left Me....Us.


Errands, I believe that is what You said before Us became Nothing. I couldn't believe this. Why? Why must you leave when We just became Us.


I found out on a normal, rather cold day, You had your suit case packed to the point of bursting. I looked up to your knowing eyes. .


You smiled your smile, breaking my heart. "You made me run."


A brave tear escaped my enemy eyes, "I didn't mean to."


You kissed my lips. Soft and vanilla is all I remember of that terribly beautiful moment that I wish to forget. I want to forget it all. You knew this, yet tortured Me with memories. "I know."


"W-w-why?" I stammered, something that I never do. Until now.


You looked straight into my eyes. There was so much pain, so much love, and so much tears that I couldn't decipher what your true feelings were until you said the words. The Words.


"I love you."


And with that you left. You left a terrible beauty in my soul with no one to show, because I would only show you. That beauty is still there, slowly waiting for your return. If it ever does. I will never give this beauty up for anybody, ever. Except for You. Only You. I try to get on with my days. months. years. You never came back.


Turns out You put Me as your emergency contact when You boarded a plane to were I live. Turns out the plane was new which would have been fine, but it turns out the pilot was too. You died. Not the moronic pilot fresh out of school, not the old lady with cancer going to her funeral anyways, not the guy who raped four girls but got out on early bail for good behavior. Just You.


You were on you way to come see me. A letter in your pocket, the morgue said. Turns out, You put everything under my name. Your letters, your feelings, and your pain. Even your dog, which I didn't know you had until know. The letter said in your messy handwriting, We become Us, once again.


I cried. I don't know what to feel towards You anymore. You left Me, but You tried to come back to Me. You wanted what I have longed for, for years. I guess it doesn't matter now, now does it? You left Me for good now; although, not intentionally.


Do You even miss Me as much as I could miss you up there, in Heaven? I still miss you, and more importantly, love you. So much. Just know that I will never move on from what We had, that beauty. It can not be replaced, by anyone.


I declare from the moment You lost your last breath We became Us once again. Don't ever forget that. Even in Heaven. My love for you will always be as bright a beauty that shined in the sky from the first night I met you.


You and Me will always be Us.


With Love,
Us





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JessicaRae7 said...
May 25, 2012 at 7:33 am
Wow. This was so sad but so beautifully written. Truly amazing. Stay Strong.
 
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