Your strong hands hold my tiny fingers.
I trace your palm.
Rough from work.
I hold them to my cheeks,
It makes you smile.
"You have a lady's hands."
"No I don't."
"Yes, you do. They're beautiful."
I finger the blue and red friendship bracelet on your right hand.
"What's this?"
"A girl I once knew, she made it for me."
"Did you love her?"
"Yes."
"Where is she?"
"She died."
"Oh."
"She made this for me before she died."
Sally reaches your stop. I stare out the window at you in awe. You don't see me.
I want to believe you're just a friend to me,
But you're so much more.
I learn to skateboard.
So I can be with you.
You're there every time I fall.
Your strong arms grab my waist when I wobble.
We make jokes.
I get better at boarding.
My breathe is taken every time you look into my eyes.
Your aura glows a glorious oceanic blue.
Your eyes are so unreadable.
That's one of the reasons I first started talking to you.
I held your hand.
I was proud to call you my boyfriend.
I dreamed up ways to make you smile.
Told you my secrets,
Told you my dreams.
I cried in front of you.
I trusted you.
Then...
I hurt you.
Broke your trust in me.
I kissed someone.
I told you as soon as I did.
I deserved the anger you dealt me.
I thought about you everyday I was in Michigan after the ice storm.
I texted you,
Called you.
Dreamed of you.
Hoped you'd forgive me.
You never answered,
Gave me any sign at all.
You ignored me for two weeks.
Then, you forgave me.
Gave me a second chance to be your friend.
Not your girlfriend,
Just your friend.
"You made a mistake. One mistake. That's all it takes with me. It's over. We can still be friends though."
I sat back in my leather seat,
As you turned around,
I cried into my hands.
Silent tears slipped through my lady hands.
I remained your friend.
Talked to you whenever I could.
Called you,
You answered.
We never got back together.
April came around.
You texted me.
"Can you come see me tonight?"
I remembered the day you said we'd meet at night.
Your arms around my waist,
We'd watched the sun set on a horizon of pink cotton candy.
At Beautiful Savior's wooden playground.
It was abandoned on a late Saturday afternoon.
Dylan was trying to longboard.
He couldn't hear us talking.
I was grateful.
We spoke of many things.
Agreed to meet some night.
Naturally, I agreed to your text.
"Yes, I'll be there. Midnight tonight."
I took off on a bike and made it at 12:10.
Snuck into your basement.
Cam Calentine was there.
I was freezing cold.
You covered me in blankets,
Still I shivered.
You hugged me close,
Tried to warm me.
You kissed me.
Gently,
Sweetly.
As if I'd break beneath you.
Your lips parted.
I got my first taste of you.
You tasted of peaches.
Somehow, you undressed me.
My big black sweater taken off in a fumbling dance of shaking fingers.
You kissed my hands.
Unhooked my black bra.
Released me from my shorts and black panties.
I laid before you.
At your mercy,
As exposed as a newborn babe.
You treated me with gentleness equal to my exposure.
Kissed every inch of me.
Then,
With one simple movement,
You took what I'd spent fifteen years protecting,
I gave it willingly.
It was yours anyway.
Rightfully, it belonged to you.
Still you kissed my skin,
Like rolling waves,
Endless,
Ceaseless.
A sea of pale nakedness.
I kissed you equally.
You were mine,
And I yours.
I rubbed your cheeks beneath my fingertips.
Your chin sharp with stubble and scented with a strong aftershave.
I traced every inch of you with my fingertips.
Softly,
Gently.
I was molding your soul.
To fit mine.
Soul mates.
You shivered beneath my dancing fingertips.
For the first time ever,
You realized I really did love you.
And you loved me back.
I tried to put it into words.
You already knew.
Then,
Three hours later,
It was over.
I had to leave.
Dawn was coming and I had to return downtown.
I returned in the dead of night.
Just as the world was beginning to stir.
I went home with a secret, mine, only.
I had you.
A part of you with me.
And a part of me with you.
I'll never forget the taste of peaches and the scent of your aftershave.
And all the memories and life lessons I gained in a mere four hours.
I love you.
Forever and Forever....
Amen.

Then, I forgot you
Chose to forgive you.
Left you below...
Forgotten...
Behind...
Out of sight...
Out of mind...
You're not part of me anymore.
I left you in tears.
Mine, streaming down my face.
I hear your name now,
You're just one of a million.
Can't remember why I liked you,
Why I felt I couldn't live.
Now you're nothing but a dream behind me.
A hazy memory lost and forgotten,
Dropped along in a grain in the sands of time.
I've forgotten you,
And you me.
Like the song we so dreaded then.
I'm glad,
I have experience.
On what a guy should never be.
So thanks and I'm sorry if you never learn.
For your girlfriend too.
See, I knew.
All along.
Can't wait to hear that you screwed up again.
Maybe she'll be more lenient.
But I doubt it.
Care for a drag?
That's all you ever did.
See you never,
I hope.