I sat in my basement watching TV. The familiar smells and feels of the room filled me with content. I take the remote and turn off the TV. I get up and turn off the lights, but turn on the set to the next room. I never liked being in complete darkness, who knows what could be lurking inside it. Slowly I make my way to the stairs, turning off the lights behind me then flicking the switch in front of me. Now only the stairs are illuminated. I look towards the clear door that leads to my laundry room, I always had a this nightmare that if I didn’t run up the stair fast enough a creature would come up and grasp my ankle and pull me down to the dark menacing laundry room. But those are illusions conjured up when I was young. But the idea still haunts in the back of my mind. I take each step of the stairs slowly forcing myself not to run p like I did so long ago. These nightmares still haunt me now. And even thought I’m 13 going on 14, I still feel as insecure as a little girl. But the worse thing about these nightmares is that I have to live with that the fact that I know that they will still be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. Also that nothing can stop them from being worse the next night. So, what do I do? Nothing, because I can’t do anything at all. Because I am just a girl typing, trying to make them go away, but they won’t. So tomorrow I’ll clean up my act, wash my face and try to look normal. I’ll go on another day looking totally normal, so smile for the camera, and say lies!
March 23, 2011