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remembrance

I believe that suicide is a choice not a must. I have to decide for my self and really decide hard it will be the last decision you make if you chose death. This is a big thing I believe in because my best friend committed suicide at the age of 14 because of a female that broke his heart and left him for some other person. He was devastated for days upon weeks, and he told me “What do I do?” I told him to think of something good other then himself and Amber (girl friend), and just think positive man. “I try and I, I just can’t this to end I am not my self with out, her I need her.
Then I was having an issue with him killing him self for this girl he dated for 2yrs. I constantly told him,” it will be okay just don’t think about her.” He kept saying, “No, no I need her she is my world with out her I am nothing. I need her to be complete.” Then I said “no this is not happening dude just stop man it’s not worth it.”But he kept going on and on about her and what will happen with out her.
The next day he called me and said “dude I called her and asked her the truth and she said I just was scared that I was going to be over protected about her and she was just scared.” Then the next day after that he called me up and said he was done I cant take another second of this I am done good bye Bailey have a good life. And he hung up and I rushed to his home and ran in the house and started to look for him and I found him in his room lying on his bed. I thought he was just lying there and I looked he choked him self to death. I just stood there blindly and hoped for the best. I called his parents and said your son is dead. They hurried home from work and found him and the paramedics and I was just so sorry for there loss. I asked if they needed anything at all just to call me. After that I scuffled home wondering about what he said about Amber and all they have been though. Then I called her up and asked her to come to my house for a chat. Me and her were really good friends so she came over and we talked for a good hour and half then I asked her about Jacob. She said what is there to know he is a good person and what not. I corrected her by saying “was” a good person. She asked what you mean? I told her he killed him self over you. We both sat there silent and she got up and said I’m sorry. Then walked away and I haven’t herd from her after that.

And after that I have never forgotten him I visit his grave every Sunday on the way to church and back to say I am so sorry.





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