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It Never Mattered

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Who decides what happens in our lives? Who decides what we wear, who we hang out with, what we do, who we love/hate, or who we become? The answer is simply: ourselves. We became who we are right now by making the decisions of our past. Believe it or not, we shaped our own future, you yourself, and I myself. Personally, I’m pretty happy with the way I let my life turn out. Of course my parents and additional people influenced me in some way or another, but in the end, it was my choice to take the advice that was given me or turn it away. Not many people realize that they hold the key to their own future, and I just wanted to share how my present turned out the way it is now, in this moment, by going through my life in school.

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Kindergarten is what I call “The First Years of my Social Life.” It’s hard for me to remember exactly how it happened because that’s thinking back ten entire years, but I had many friends by the end of my kindergarten year. I imagine it must have gone something like this:
Me (short, brown hair, freckles)- “Hey, can I use your pink crayon?”

Girl With the Pink Crayon- “Sure you can use this purple one, too.”
And just like that, we were friends forever. Her name was/is Jessica, and still is to this very day, my best friend. It’s weird how things work out like that, that you can know who your best friend is when you are so young and naïve, and when your brain is really no more developed than a chimpanzee’s. But anyway, after that I made many more friends while probably doing various kindergarten activities such as: drinking a small carton of milk each day, learning my ABC’s, and playing in the sandbox, all of which I would rather do than Algebra II I must say.
These years laid the groundwork for the rest of my school existence. Little did I know back then, the friends you make in kindergarten and the things you do and the way you act have a massive impact on the rest of your elementary years. If you are considered “weird” or “gross” or “class clown,” that will most likely be who you “are” in those first years of schooling. I was a normal little kindergartener, I guess. I didn’t pick my boogers and eat them or squirt milk out my nose or anything like that. I came to school each day with my pink Barbie backpack strapped on and my hair freshly done by my mother, without really worrying about anything at all. Now when I see a young kindergartener with their hair all messed up and not caring one bit, I find myself thinking Was I like that back then? Regardless of who I really was back then and who my friends were, I would give a lot just to go back to those simple times.

Next comes middle school, another large step in any child’s life, and a very large step for me. Now, when I think of middle school, the first thing that pops into my head is puberty. I do not like to think about puberty at all, frankly it makes me want to gag, but, yes, it happened in middle school. But one of the bigger topics of my middle school horror story are more friendships that I made. In my school system, there are two elementaries and only one middle school. So, my elementary and another elementary (you guessed it) combined their fifth grade classes to create a larger class that will stay that way until the end of their senior year. That is how I met my two other friends, Hannah and Aressa.
Now Hannah and Aressa’s story is nothing like Jessica and I’s. Hannah and I met through band (We both played the alto saxophone. Groovy, right?), while I don’t even remember how I met Aressa. It must have been through Hannah. Meanwhile, we (Jessica, Hannah, Aressa, and I) became what I call the “Fantabulous Four.” We had countless sleepovers, did the same things, and were together as much as we could be. Jessica was considered the funny one, Hannah the loud, “I don’t care what anyone thinks” one, Aressa was pretty much the Barbie doll, and I was the smart one. It was an excellent combination of friends, and it stayed like that for a very long time.
Another big part of my middle school career was the boyfriends that I had. I’m not trying to be a braggart or anything, personally I would take all of them back and just wait until high school if I could, but it’s just part of my story. My first boyfriend was named Josh, and we dated twice. I’m pretty sure that only equaled about half a day in total. The thing about boyfriends in middle school is that just having a boyfriend makes you a “cooler” person for some reason. People ask you all these questions like “Did you hold hands?” or say things like “Aww, you guys are so cute together,” even though you break up with them about a day later. It’s quite a sad situation really. In the end, it did give me some preferences on who to date, who not to date, and who to never, ever, even-if-I-get-paid-to date. Toward the end of middle school, I didn’t date at all. It was just too much of a hassle. High school is where it gets a lot better. I just hope I never have to relive those years in middle school.

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for, my high school years. High school has been the best time of my school life, although it is only my second year here. My reason for liking high school so much is that I found a new boyfriend that I have had for almost nine months now, and he is so much better than those middle school boys, I gotta say. (He is a year ahead of me in high school.) High school really has much more prospects for boyfriends because (bottom line) there are a lot more boys. Three times more to be exact. And for some reason it’s like when you step out of middle school and into high school, you actually think about boyfriends as people you are considering for your future. They aren’t just people you hold hands with in the halls and sit with every day. It is a huge step up from those treacherous middle school years. Thank the lord!
I think the biggest influence in being in high school is to fit in. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who have their very own style, like the artsy girl who wears cutting edge outfits each day. If you wore that, people would probably stop and stare at you in shock, but it’s totally normal for the artsy girl. So, because of this, most people wear the same style. At my school, it’s the “Hollister look.” This consists of mainly a brand named shirt, brand named jeans, and sandals or boots, with their hair straightened or curled for the girls. It’s weird to me how everyone tries to fit into this stereotype. It is the most boring style, and really I guess it is made so you can fit in with everyone else. I have to admit, I wore the “Hollister look” at least three times a week. So this year I came to a revelation that has helped me so much.
I found out: it doesn’t matter who you hang out with, as long as they are truly your friends, and keep your secrets, and don’t start rumors or anything like that. It doesn’t matter who you dated way back when, because really, who even remembers that? It doesn’t matter what clothes you wear or what style you wear. Be unique. All that matters is the now- who your friends are now, who you date, and who you are in general. These are the defining years of your life, so be happy and be yourself.
Nothing else matters.



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whitkostdnt10 said...
Oct. 8, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Awesome! Way to write!
 
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