I remember spring break of 2007 like it was yesterday. I had always loved spring, all the flowers blooming so many shades of yellow, white, and pink. And the sun was always out. Spring had always been beautiful… Until that spring break. A spring break that changed my life.
I was in the fourth grade. I didn’t know much about death, especially not much about losing a loved one. But all that changed over spring break when she died. She was diagnosed with lung cancer around my birthday in July, summer of 2006.They said it was from smoking. The doctors knew she wouldn’t live much longer. She looked sick, and we all knew she was. She looked so fragile, as if you would touch her, or hug her, and she would shatter. Her wrinkled skin looked paler and her blue/grey eyes had dark circles underneath them. Her head, which used to be cover in grey curls, was bald part from chemo and part for cutting the rest off. But in my eyes, she was still beautiful.
She was loved by many people, and many people were loved by her. To some people she was a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, but to me, well, she was just my mamaw. And losing mamaw was one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through.
I think back to all the things that mamaw and I have done. I remember when she would pick me up after preschool and when we came home I would hide under the coffee table in her living room until she came and found me and would tickle my four year old stomach. And when we would build puzzles together and we would both put the final piece in so we could say we finished together. And I remember being sad every time my dad came to pick me up, and I would linger there a little while longer in her warm embrace before I had to leave.
She taught me many things, like, don’t worry about what other people say, and always remember your manners. But the most important lesson she taught me was, live life to the fullest. I don’t think she had ever said this to me, but when she left us, I realized that this lesson wasn’t one that had to be said. I start to think about what she is going to miss out on like seeing her grandkids graduate. But then I realized that she lived to see many things, and had a great life. She left loving memories with every single loved one, memories that will be etched in our hearts forever, that we will never forget. She is missed by so many people.
Now every year when spring returns, I look outside and think of how much spring resembles mamaw. Of how the sun always brightens my day like she did, and all the energy going through the air, energy that used to course through her. But most importantly, of the beauty of spring, and how it resembled the beauty of mamaw.
I was in the fourth grade. I didn’t know much about death, especially not much about losing a loved one. But all that changed over spring break when she died. She was diagnosed with lung cancer around my birthday in July, summer of 2006.They said it was from smoking. The doctors knew she wouldn’t live much longer. She looked sick, and we all knew she was. She looked so fragile, as if you would touch her, or hug her, and she would shatter. Her wrinkled skin looked paler and her blue/grey eyes had dark circles underneath them. Her head, which used to be cover in grey curls, was bald part from chemo and part for cutting the rest off. But in my eyes, she was still beautiful.
She was loved by many people, and many people were loved by her. To some people she was a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, but to me, well, she was just my mamaw. And losing mamaw was one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through.
I think back to all the things that mamaw and I have done. I remember when she would pick me up after preschool and when we came home I would hide under the coffee table in her living room until she came and found me and would tickle my four year old stomach. And when we would build puzzles together and we would both put the final piece in so we could say we finished together. And I remember being sad every time my dad came to pick me up, and I would linger there a little while longer in her warm embrace before I had to leave.
She taught me many things, like, don’t worry about what other people say, and always remember your manners. But the most important lesson she taught me was, live life to the fullest. I don’t think she had ever said this to me, but when she left us, I realized that this lesson wasn’t one that had to be said. I start to think about what she is going to miss out on like seeing her grandkids graduate. But then I realized that she lived to see many things, and had a great life. She left loving memories with every single loved one, memories that will be etched in our hearts forever, that we will never forget. She is missed by so many people.
Now every year when spring returns, I look outside and think of how much spring resembles mamaw. Of how the sun always brightens my day like she did, and all the energy going through the air, energy that used to course through her. But most importantly, of the beauty of spring, and how it resembled the beauty of mamaw.
Post a Comment
Be the first to comment on this article!