I felt my stomach turn and flop around inside of me the moment I heard his words, “Sara, I need to talk to you, I’m going back to California.”
My brother was the one who said that to me the same day he promised he wasn’t going to leave for a while, on a count of he just got back 3 days before he returned to our house which was half way across the country.
Hurt, I forced myself to hold back tears while avoiding eye contact with him. Then at that moment, I looked him straight in the eyes. I felt tears running down my cheeks. My brother is about 20 or so years older than me, and had lived in California for what seemed like forever. But yet, I still had some sort of hope that he would stay with us and act like a real brother instead of leaving me in the dark. I don’t know why, but I had hoped that if my brother had stayed here, I might actually have a great relationship with him. I didn’t see that happening any time soon.
I have a great brother, it’s just at the time I didn’t realize that he had a life of his own and the world didn’t revolve around my happiness. I’m not, nor was I ever that selfish where I thought the world revolved around me, but I did expect him to change. He didn’t have a perfect past, he had gotten into some bad stuff before, but I thought since he came out here he might have wanted to become a real brother. Hurt and confused, I couldn’t understand why he left and came back so much. Every time he left he didn’t understand what he was doing to me inside. ‘Why doesn’t he love me?’ I thought. I had wanted to talk to him so much about it, but never could open my mouth where the words would come out. Finally after some time he said he was going to leave again and I didn’t say anything to my mom about how I felt, but when he promised me he would come back I knew he was lying. I told my mom that he was coming back as if I was trying to keep her hopes up, when really I was trying to keep up my own. A year or so has passed, I still haven’t seen him, it seems like my dad has given up all hope and confidence in my brother’s return from California. I don’t think my mom will ever give up on him, sadly I already have. ‘Is that really the definition of family? When all hope is gone, give up on people?’ Those have been my long never ending thoughts. My brother isn’t the greatest most amazing person in the world, but he is a great person, some people are probably blind, as I was. Blind to what is really there; I used to see him as some jerk, who I would forever have a battle with. But he is so much more, it honestly came to me as if someone hit me over the head, I made a mistake just as my brother did, I assumed that he was some person who didn’t care. When really I just needed to polish the rock surface outside to find the diamond that he could really be; I learned not to judge who he is, because there is so much more than what meets the eye.
My brother was the one who said that to me the same day he promised he wasn’t going to leave for a while, on a count of he just got back 3 days before he returned to our house which was half way across the country.
Hurt, I forced myself to hold back tears while avoiding eye contact with him. Then at that moment, I looked him straight in the eyes. I felt tears running down my cheeks. My brother is about 20 or so years older than me, and had lived in California for what seemed like forever. But yet, I still had some sort of hope that he would stay with us and act like a real brother instead of leaving me in the dark. I don’t know why, but I had hoped that if my brother had stayed here, I might actually have a great relationship with him. I didn’t see that happening any time soon.
I have a great brother, it’s just at the time I didn’t realize that he had a life of his own and the world didn’t revolve around my happiness. I’m not, nor was I ever that selfish where I thought the world revolved around me, but I did expect him to change. He didn’t have a perfect past, he had gotten into some bad stuff before, but I thought since he came out here he might have wanted to become a real brother. Hurt and confused, I couldn’t understand why he left and came back so much. Every time he left he didn’t understand what he was doing to me inside. ‘Why doesn’t he love me?’ I thought. I had wanted to talk to him so much about it, but never could open my mouth where the words would come out. Finally after some time he said he was going to leave again and I didn’t say anything to my mom about how I felt, but when he promised me he would come back I knew he was lying. I told my mom that he was coming back as if I was trying to keep her hopes up, when really I was trying to keep up my own. A year or so has passed, I still haven’t seen him, it seems like my dad has given up all hope and confidence in my brother’s return from California. I don’t think my mom will ever give up on him, sadly I already have. ‘Is that really the definition of family? When all hope is gone, give up on people?’ Those have been my long never ending thoughts. My brother isn’t the greatest most amazing person in the world, but he is a great person, some people are probably blind, as I was. Blind to what is really there; I used to see him as some jerk, who I would forever have a battle with. But he is so much more, it honestly came to me as if someone hit me over the head, I made a mistake just as my brother did, I assumed that he was some person who didn’t care. When really I just needed to polish the rock surface outside to find the diamond that he could really be; I learned not to judge who he is, because there is so much more than what meets the eye.
thepreechyteenager
Join the Discussion
This article has 1 comment. Post your own!