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A Letter Returned
You know who you are and I know you are. Should we go through the formalities?
On the contrary, I believe that it would be best to just begin with what I have to say. What do you think as you read my letters? Do you know what I think when I read yours?
Your letters are like tear drops in a bottle. They are not empty or bull-headed. I am fully convinced that you have an intelligence that is somehow yet, undiscovered. As if there was nothing that you couldn’t know. You inspire me to a great potential.. It’s as if, you don’t even have to…be there. I’m not sure what I want to say only that I know I want to say it! These are the things you do to me! It’s always a pleasure, however.
Put a time into place in your mind that brings you peace. I can think of one time in particular that happened a crisp fall day in the end of September about a year ago. Although there seemed to be so many people and quite a few strangers, I do believe that it was only me and you. Only me and you. Mmm…Time does seem to both brighten things and distort them. The leaves on the ground had changed their colors to brilliant bolds. The trees were barren yet so full! The air was cool, refreshing. Can you feel it blowing on your face now? The smell was aromatic. It was mixed with carnival fun and theme park food. The noise was boisterous. There really is no way to describe them. How would you describe them, darling?
Then in a cove all to ourselves, we held our place. It reflects upon our relationship. We were very close at that time. Don’t you agree? You held me quite close in your arms. Sir, can you see all these visions? or are they the formation of my imagination? I can sometimes still feel how it felt to have you stand so close to my person. Though the feeling is becoming more and more vague. I wish that I could remember that day for the rest of my life and occasionally revisit it . The memories are extremely valuable to me. As you held me, close, to your heart, I heard your breathing steady. As you caressed my body, I felt your heart beat. And as you whispered, “I love you,” I listened to your words, but your intense passion wrapped inside.
How do you feel now? Can you remember these things as I do? I do hope so. It’s so pleasant to be able to communicate but also to be able to share the same experiences. I loved that day to the fullest. I find that as time passes, I find myself wishing that that day could occur more and more often.
I know what I want to say now. I want to start at the beginning, but I’m afraid that it is very much rumbled in my mind. It’s a flow that ceases to find organization. I want to begin my thoughts by trying to get you to see my thoughts as fragments of your thoughts. I want was is precious to me to be precious to you. I know that it once was, but now I am not so certain anymore.
I want to remind you that you are significant to me; whether we are together or not. You have to see that no matter what happens between us, it cannot destroy the sense of pride I have for you. If the sun flew eight thousand miles from the moon, would they be happy? If the stars fell from the sky, would the nighttime be jovial? If I left myself out of your spirit, would I be content? How many leagues does it take for a heart to find another? Not so many. How many legions would it take to find a true happiness? And then what does it matter to one, to find life when one’s heart is broken…
It’s as if life were a fairy tale. But who was it who has said, “Fairy tales do not teach children that dragons exists. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales teach children that dragons can be killed.” Life doesn’t teach us things that are already known just by existence. It simply teaches us that there are ways to overcome trials. And you must now that you have shown me how to overcome many snares in the past.
When times, have frowned their faces upon my life, you were there for the comfort. While there have been times I wished for more, I realized that I have been selfish. I thank you for those times. And when I have sat in the dark crying, you were there then too. I want to thank you for being sincere at the times when they were needed and even at times when they could have slipped by unnoticed. I praise you for having the courage to care for me when I did not care back. And I also thank you for it when I was a difficult sport.
You have many attributes that allow your personality freedom. Without you, I’m not sure I would have become as knowing as I have now. Don’t let your memories fade as mine seem to have begun. I am deeply regretted by this fact. I want to revive the past memories, but I cannot. So I treasure the present, and assume contentment for the future. I lean on you to keep the flame alive when my lamp runs dry. To hold out when it seems you can’t make it much longer. I too have felt these things before, and I know what it is to struggle with them. Thinking can keep it alive and fervent, it can also destroy. Do not let it keep our friendship at distances. For in sight you are my most precious friend, apart of as one and I only want to keep you as my closest dearest friend for always and forever a lifetime…