I was only 7. My brothers and I were staying at my mom’s friends house. We were staying there because we had no where to go. It was the middle of the night. My mom got a call from her mom. She said that something bad had happened at my dad’s house. After the call she asked her friend Anne to come and get us. As Anne was coming into the guest room she said “ Your mom needs to see you kids in the kitchen”. My brothers and I walked into the kitchen. I saw my mom crying. I had no clue with what was going on and I was scared. She was trying to explain what happened, but I did not understand her. My brothers finally got what she was saying but I still had trouble. After a couple of minutes she clamed down and I got what she was saying. She had said “ Your grandma had just called, she said that your dad had just died from suicide while she was at work. I’m so sorry.”


So we all went to bed after that phone call from my grandma. When I was in bed I felt like I wanted to die. I could not even breathe and my heart hurt so much. I never thought he would do this. I was only 7. I have no memories of my dad but I knew he was a really good man.


I would try to sleep that night but all I heard where the sobs that came from my family. I also heard the talking that came from my mom and her friend. I would go to sleep and wake up screaming from the dreams that I had of my dad leaving me somewhere and never coming back for me. I never talked to anyone I just sat on the couch. I would just sit there and listen to my family cry. I never moved. I never ate. But that night hurt me so bad. I barley new him.


When I would be sitting on my couch I tasted the sadness in the house. I always wished why did it happen to me. Why me and my brothers? My brothers would always say “ It’s your fault Julia. You’re the reason dad died.” or they would say, “Dad never loved you.” It always made me feel really bad because I was little and I did not know any better then to just listen to my older brothers. I really did think it was my fault for my dad’s death. And I never should have believed them, and I know he loved me, but why did he do it? And now I realize the only reason why my brothers said what they said, was because there were really upset for what my father did and I don’t blame them.


As the days and years went on from my fathers deathi learned something. That when you lose someone you love. It does not mean the end it just means the beginning of something new for your life and theirs. I will live for my father and everything he stood for. I know he is going to be proud of me for everything I achieve in life.