I Act With Delight

     With a soft click, the
door closes behind me, and the last sliver of golden light disappears.
My eyes adjust slowly to the enveloping darkness. I reach to the left to
feel the cool wall and drag my fingertips along it as I inch forward. My
hand meets the corner, and I turn left. Although I am used to the dark,
all I can see is a tiny red light at the end of the walkway. I brush
against the ropes and pulleys and slide along carefully to make sure
there is nothing waiting to bruise my shins. Finally, I am able to reach
out and punch the illuminated dot with my fingertips. Nothing happens at
first, but I know what is coming. I hurry from the wings, sweeping the
curtains aside, just in time to see the stage fill with a glorious
light. This ... this is my favorite place.

For as
long as I can remember, I have felt at home on stage. Whether I have a
script, a microphone, a dance partner, or nothing in my hands, I am
thrilled to be there. Nothing is more exciting than looking over a
microphone and seeing thousands of eyes staring back at me. There is
nothing more satisfying than to walk through the house lights, soaked in
sweat after practicing a dance routine for an extra hour after
rehearsal; to be in an ensemble and hear each voice swell with the
piece’s crescendo is the most rewarding sound ever. I could
not imagine my life without theater.

There is a line
from Chekhov’s “The Seagull” that
perfectly captures my love of theatre. A young woman, filled with the
desire to be on the stage, exclaims: “I’m a real
actress, I act with delight, with rapture, I’m drunk when
I’m on the stage, and feel that I am beautiful.”
That single sentence says so much about the feeling I have when I am on
stage. I truly do act with delight, with rapture, and with every strand
of my being. My senses are intoxicated with the heat of the lights, the
swell of the music, and the echo of my voice against the back of the
auditorium. In the middle of a stage, I feel myself radiate an inner
glow that makes me feel beautiful.

Although I thrive
on the audience’s attention, I also thrive on the euphoria
within my heart. My heart bursts with the emotion of the
character’s words and surges with the crescendos of the
musical score. The most amazing part of performing, though, is that I
know that the pure joy I feel when simply looking at a stage will never
fade. I will always have a passion for
performing.

What a blank page is for writers, an
empty stage is for me. It holds so much promise with its unexplored
scenes and emotions. It is amazing to be able to fill in the blank page
of any stage. Throughout my life, I have had amazing opportunities to
write in the pages of theater. Although I have been on many stages, my
high school stage holds a special place in my heart. I have spent seven
long years there, singing and dancing; memorizing lines and blocking;
experiencing every possible combination of emotions - scripted and
otherwise. Since I spend so much time there, the auditorium has become
my second home. I know where all the doorways lead and what all the
ropes are for. I know which curtains to hide behind to watch from
backstage and which dressing room doors should be shut carefully because
the audience can hear them creaking. I know that the large gash on the
upper stage floor is from the huge bed in “Grease,”
and that the white staircase backstage has been used in at least three
different shows. I know these things like my own reflection, which is a
comforting thought when I’m not sure of many other things in
my life.

The school auditorium has been a safe haven
for me. When I feel tangled up inside, all I need to do is walk into the
auditorium, watch the lights come up, and feel everything else dissolve.
It is comforting to open a script and step into the life of someone
else. To be able to experience their feelings and thoughts is a release
from everyday stress.

My favorite part of a musical
is when too much emotion builds up between characters and swells in
their voices as they sing. How beautiful is it to see how every problem
in a musical can be resolved with a song.

Often I
feel so at ease in the middle of a stage that, as I sing, I catch my
mind wandering. I think of how easy life would be if it were all
scripted and every dilemma could be settled with a few simple chords.
Then I realize that if problems could be solved so easily, stepping onto
a stage would not be as sweet.

I have a passion for
theater, and I am lucky to feel so completed by something. When I am on
a stage, I am filled with contentment. At a time in my life when
happiness and contentment are hard to find, I am grateful for its
escape. When too much tension builds, I know I can sing about it, just
as the characters in musicals do. I know, too, that I have a place to go
and am grateful that it is so wonderful. It is the one place


I can fill in the blank pages of the next scene in
my life. I am comfortable and happy on that stage. I am home.