This I Believe

By
Is life worth living? This is a question you may hear a lot. I know I ask myself this question on a daily basis. It really makes you think. When I ask myself that question, the first thought that goes through my head is “I believe in the value of life.”

“It will all be okay.” I heard it from everyone around me a million times and I was starting to get sick of those five little words. Emma sat down beside me as tears poured from my eyes and all the color I had left, drained from my face. That was all I needed, a friend who would listen. But, despite myself, I yelled at her, at all of them to get away from me. I didn’t need this! Surprisingly, they didn’t get offended and they didn’t pressure me to tell them what was going on in my head. They simply got up and let me ponder the thoughts screaming in my bleeding ears. Inside the twisted world in my head, I took the time to think that maybe, just maybe, I should let all the pain go. When I finally did, I felt that life would forever be worth what I was making it.

That was not the first time I had those feelings flow through me like my blood. I found out early on in life that my mom was pregnant with me at fifteen and my dad didn’t want me. He wanted her to have an abortion, which was never an option. Adoption, though, became a thought she was afraid to have. Would she ever see me again? Would she ever see the person I’ve become today? She wouldn’t. She would miss out on my life. So, she decided to give birth to me and she kept me. That was when I learned that my mom knew the value of life, even though I was too young to know it.

The most significant portion of my life is when I felt like, no, life wasn’t worth living. It never would be. I was emo. I was nothing. I would never amount to anything on Earth. I was a crack in the mirror and the pain after you get a new tattoo. I was useless and nobody, at all, loved me. I was dead wrong. Although, my friends never knew what to say and they were completely and totally unaware. Everyone could see the change in me. My teachers and parents were included. The way they treated me and mostly the way they showed me that life was something to learn from and it always would be.

Life is everything, while it can be nothing at the same exact time. It hurts you but it helps you, too. It took me a very long time to learn that but I did and I’m much, much happier now. After I understood that people loved me, I realized that life was indeed worth living. It always will be.





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