Prebrew School Madness

In fifth grade, my friend, Sam, Me, this other kid (who I now hate a lot), and I, were play fighting in Sam’s basement one afternoon before the dreaded Hebrew School one afternoon. We were on his couch, which sectional.

We were using blowup chairs as body shields of some sort. Due to the fact that I had and have very long legs, I would just kick anyone who came near me, allowing me to dominate the fight. For some reason I kicked the kid who I don’t like very hard, let’s call him Cop E. Cat. Anyway I kicked Cop real hard and he started crying. Then in a sequence of events, which is now somewhat of a blur to me, Sam and I were fighting, and I somehow angered him deeply. This caused him to corner me at the end of one of the tan couch’s branches, and force his elbow into my eye.

This caused irritation and bruising, and the end of a mighty battle. My eye was bruised, so I cried, Sam cried because he was mad (and has a little bit of a temper), and Cop E. Cat cried from his prior injury, and because he copies people. But I would get my reward at the end of this mighty battle, a free pass from the tedious Temple Beth Shalom classes I was supposed to attend


Running Faces


One afternoon, before Cop E. Cat’s Bar Mitzvah (A dull affair), my friends and I gathered to write a song to commemorate our “friend”. Although we did not want to, we were forced to, because it was somewhat traditional. The friends there were Sam (Again), Robby, Sambinho, and a short blond fellow I never got the name of.

Any way we finished the song and would be leaving for the party in 30 minutes, so we decided to go outside to Sambinho’s large yard and play running bases.

Anyway about 20 minutes later we began a game In which I was one of the baseman, and Sambinho was a runner. He was in between the bases and I was running after him, when suddenly he took a fall. I went over to tag him and he nervously kicked me square in the eye (Yes, I know it’s the second time that’s happened). I fell to the floor with tears, anger, and blood in my eyes (Maybe not in my eyes, but around them). I was infuriated he’d hurt me over a stupid game. I got up and I just started punching him. I mean I was trying to hit his arm until it fell off. Eventually it was broken up, and someone went to get Sambinho’s mother. A nervous woman, she seemed far angrier at me than Sambinho. She yelled at both of us though, and I stood up for myself claiming he had left me bleeding. Then we were all picked up by Robby’s mom to go the party. Before we left, while we were in the car, Sambinho’s mom said something slightly negative about me, and Sam defended me, causing more drama with a kid standing up to an adult. While Sambinho and I are still friendly, our relationship is not the same years after that night I had to sing a song with a cut around my eye at Cop’s dreary Bar Mitzvah.


Attack of the Twins

Once at recess in fifth grade, I was playing defense, in an elimination basketball game. When there were two people left, one who was half of a pair of twins, people wanted the game to end fast so we could begin a new game. Andrew, the twin, was shooting, when was a kid who waiting for the next game, yelled for them to hurry up. This yell was simultaneous with Andrew’s shot to win the game, causing anger. He yelled at the kid violently to not talk while he shot.

I, seeing that he was making excuses, said, “Come on, that didn’t affect your shot at all”.

For some reason I will never know, Andrew was infuriated with me standing up for the kid, and started walking towards me.

I was very surprised when he yelled, “I’m tired of you” (We have minimal interaction), and started trying to push me down.

I didn’t really fight back, because I wasn’t really mad, and he wasn’t hurting me. Plus I was very shocked. Then a teacher pulled him off, and he picked up a basketball and hurled it at me from close range. Then she said we were both going to the office. She started to see my innocence, when Andrew’s twin Jason, stated that he was going with Andrew no matter what, and that he was innocent. Yelling and tears ensued between the twins, and eventually Andrew and I made our way to the office. There, the curly haired boy was found guilty by the principal and suspended, while I sat dumfounded, and uncomfortable.