We live in a world were technology is basically overwhelming everyone. But, are you one of those people who will drop at the sight of a computer? No worries, you old fart; Emily is here to teach you a few simple tricks, so you can impress your friends and family with things such as FaceBook and Microsoft Office!

Now, FaceBook is not a book with a face. It's not a face in a book either; it is a website. Yes, a website. Think of it as a building on the Internet. Now, if you don't know how to get to a website, here is the steps:

1. Turn on your computer.
2. Log in.
3. Click on the little 'e' button with something yellow orbiting it.
4. At the top, there is a rectangular box. Oh noes! Just click and type.

..But first you might need a keyboard. What? You don't know what that is? Oh, my. It's a board. With keys (not like a key you use to unlock things. Like, letters. KEEP UP!).

Once you get to this magical place called the Internet (Wow, I'm surprised you're not dead yet!), type in the words 'facebook.com'. ZING! You are blinded by color. Don't have a heart attack now, it's just a page on the screen. If you want, you can join, but that's an entirely different chapter.

Now Microsoft Office. No, you do not get to meet Bill Gates; you only get to experience what he made.

Do you grow tired of writing out things by hand? Fear and ache no longer! Get your lazy bum to the store (Like Walmart) and go to a Tech person and ask for a CD! Once home, shove it into your computer and it whirls away.

Ta-Da. You have now graduated Emily's Computer School for Dummies. Until next time, make sure you don't blow up. :)