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Drama. It sucks. That's all there is to it.
Last Thursday was my first day of school. Yay, senior year! Right? It should have been an amazing day...
The day was basically amazing around 2-3 a.m. when I was texting the guy that I was completely and totally crushing on. I ended up getting around three hours of sleep. When I got up to get ready for my first day of my last year of high school. My classes dragged on and on and on.... I couldn't wait for the day to be over with. I mean, there are only so many times that you can listen to the same rules get explained over and over in each class period, right? Well, the last bell rang and I drove home all excited, because the next day would be Friday. I was so excited for the weekend.
When I got home I thought about the guy I liked, James, and was already thinking of things to do for the weekend. Par-freaking-tay!
Later that night I got a text message from my best friend, Erica. She said, "I think I made a mistake." She didn't say anything else, and because she wasn't responding to my question as to why she supposedly made a mistake, I decided to call her.
Let's get one thing straight... I hate talking on the phone with a passion.
So I called her up and asked what was going on. Erica said, "You know how I wanted you and James to date so I wouldn't do stuff?"
I was beginning to worry, thinking that maybe they kissed, which wouldn't be good, because Erica was dating Josh. "Yeah..."
"Well, Josh and I got into a fight. He wanted to go back home, but I didn't want to go with him, so when he left it was just me and James."
"Okay, what'd you do?"
There was silence on the other line. I could tell she was hesitant, but she kind of softly giggled and said, "All of the above."
Yeah, I didn't really like the sound of that... My stomach started to get this nasty feeling, and I'm beginning to think the worst. "Wait, what does all of the above mean?"
"Did you sleep with him?"
And that's when things started to change. Thoughts were running through my head like crazy. My best friend had slept with another guy even though she's dating someone. Not only did she cheat, she also stabbed me in the back, because she knew that I liked James. She knew. And that didn't stop her...
She starts to explain what happened and I'm just focusing on not crying. "Uh-huh," and "yeah" were the lines that I kept saying when she paused. What else could I do?
When I asked what we were going to do on Friday with everybody, she said that she wanted it to be just a girl's night out. She simply wanted it to be me, Amy, and herself. I didn't want to hang out with her, let alone have it be just a girl's night out, but I found myself agreeing. Then I told her I had to go to sleep and hung up. I layed down in bed and stared at the ceiling. I felt hollow and hurt. How could my best friend do something so hurtful to me?
So my day went from great, to sucky, to disastrous. Yay first day of school!
The whole day I thought about James and Erica. I thought James liked me- knew James liked me... But I guess I didn't really blame him all too much, because what guy would honestly refuse a hot chick that's offering him some? Seriously?
So I told my close friends Amy and Derick (who are dating) about the whole situation. They told me that Josh needed to know. I knew he needed to know, but even though Erica had stabbed me in the back, I didn't want to hurt her by outing her. Instead, I plotted what I was going to say to her later that evening. Amy wasn't going to be able to go, because she got grounded. So it was just going to be me and Erica...
School went by in slow motion. Probably because I felt pretty dead and empty. When it was over, I babysat my cousins and went over to Derick's house to hang out with him. We ended up going to Garrett to watch his cousin's christian rock band 77 times. They were amazing for 13 year olds! After that we went back to his place and played toss back in his front yard with his family while listening to some tunes.
That's when I got a text from Erica saying that she was on her way to the Guest House- where we were going to meet. I left and met her there a little after 9:15 p.m.
I had planned on yelling at her- telling her off like she'd never been told off before, but when I saw her smiling at me, I couldn't do it, because I love her too much to act like an angry drunk like her father.
Instead, I sat down across from her and after she told me that she broke up with Josh and was now dating James, I told her calmly that I was pissed beyond all words. I told her that I was tired of being on the back burner and that I was tired of her hurting me.
She pulled the "oh, I didn't know you still liked him" card even though hours before she slept with him, I had told her that I still liked James a lot. There were a lot of silent moments, but in between them, I would tell her how upset I was and what I was thinking.
At one point I ended up telling her that I needed a break from her for a while- told her that I just couldn't deal with being around her. All she did was say, "Okay," and look down at the table. All I could do was look at her. I couldn't believe she'd just said that. Wasn't she supposed to fight for our friendship? Tell me that we could fix this? I asked her why she wasn't fighting with me about it, and she was like, "I want you to be able to do whatever you need to do..."
I said, "I want you to fight for me- for our friendship!"
But she didn't. In the moment that it counted, my best friend didn't care enough to salvage whatever was left of our friendship. Didn't seem to care about any of it.
So when the bill came, I paid for it and dropped her off at Jame's house. When I pulled out of his driveway tears started to swell up in my eyes, and I did my best to blink them back and text Derick, asking if I could come back over.
When I got there, him and his best friend, Tony, came outside and Derick could tell things didn't go well. He pulled me into a hug, and I'm not really the hugging type, so when I rested my head against his shoulder he was like, "Wow, you're even using my shoulder," trying to make a joke of it, because he knows how serious the whole thing is for me.
That night I basically told them what happened and how I felt. It was horrible. I felt alone, hollow, dead, empty, hurt, betrayed, and so many more emotions that words alone cannot describe. When I went home I went to bed and stared at the ceiling above my bed some more. I did a lot of staring off at nothing on Saturday.
Alex, Josh's friend, kept texting me, asking what was going on, why Erica had broken up with Josh, because I guess she didn't fess up to her wrongs. Amy ended up telling Alex about James and Erica, who told Josh, who talked to the new couple, and they denied everything and called me a liar. Which pissed me off beyond words, because it's one thing to stab me in the back. It's entirely another thing to call me a liar, because I hate lying. It does no good for anyone. So at this point, I am suddenly the bad guy... No, I refuse to allow them to make me, the hurt, the bad guy out of all of this...
Then on Sunday, Josh called me and wanted to know what all was going on and if I was making up this story to make Erica mad about something, and when I told him I'd never do that, he asked if it was possible that she had made the whole story up...
He simply refused to see what was going on. He still wont accept it. He still thinks that maybe I'm lying. It's understandable though. If I were in his position right now, I'd be the exact same way.....
Drama. What did I ever do to deserve this?