I just want to lay in a pool of my own, sad thoughts. Because then maybe I would have the guts to stand up to you, and tell you how you make me feel. This isn't a song about how much I love you, they’re other times for that. No, this time, its about the shadow, the thoughts in the back of my head that I will never bring to the front lines. The kind of feeling that legitimately makes me want to end it all. I kid you not, you are the meanest, most self-concerned, foundation of insecurities i have ever come across. You put me down to bring yourself up, but I am tired, too tired to with-take your lashes any longer. Oh your cruel wretched lashes how they hurt me. The pain that inflicts me from your ignorance smitten mouth. I hate you, and all the terrible things you say to me, and all the times you humiliate me, dehumanize me, I crumble. Everything you say makes me die a little bit. Each time you mimic the frequent symbol that I despise with every bone in my body, I fall deeper and deeper into the dirt, where you make me believe I belong.
I do love you (but everything between)
August 2, 2009