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First Communion

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The sun beat down as my grandparents and I waited for what we thought was going to be a glorious day in my brother's life, and then it happened.

I was the first to see it, my brother looking at the kite's exotic colors, running through the tall grass, listening to the birds chirp.(Magic Three) But apparently not paying any attention to where he was going because dead ahead was a tree!(Expanded Moment) I turned away for a split second because this is one of those times when people are watching National Geographic and the antelope that were in a huge pack were trying to cross the river but are just standing there because they know there are alligators hiding in the muddy water just waiting for them to try to cross. Then, when the antelope were just about to cross, they turn the television off because they don’t want to watch what they already know is going to happen. But then they were curious to see if they made it or not.(Specific Details for Effect) Then when I turned back around to see if he was alright and…he wasn’t. He was as still as a rock, or something frozen.(Figurative Language)

After I told my mom and she saw if for herself she dialed 9-1-1 and exactly four minutes later an ambulance appeared at the front of the house. Then they took my brother away on a stretcher along with my parents, but they weren’t on stretchers.

The next morning my brother came home from the hospital. I was told he had a slight concussion and the left side of his body has many cuts and is very sore. But they didn’t have to tell me he had many cuts because he looked so scary I wanted to scream, so scary I wanted to run away, so scary I think Dracula would scream in terror(Repetition for Effect) and he had a Frankenstein-like-walk(Hyphenated Modifier) with his neck brace.

Again, the sun beat down, but Matthew’s first communion wasn’t the expected happy communion, it was more of an embarrassing communion because he was the only kid up there with cuts on one side of his body and a neck brace.





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