When Alexander Left

May 10, 2009
I sat there my face pressed against the cold window wondering if he'd remember me. In fact after an hour or so after he'd left I wasn't sure that he was ever real. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd been a dream. Those days he'd been here was like a sweet yet sad dream; the type that you want so very badly to wake up from, yet you know that if you wake up you'll loose the dream and you never want to loose such a wonderful dream. There was nothing I could say or do to keep him; like there was nothing you could say or do to keep the dream alive. I ran down the stairs, out the door, and onto the porch where I stood in silence watching the night sky. I helplessly whispered his name into the sky hoping he'd come and hold me like the many times he had before, but I knew he was far away and that his arms wouldn't be there to wrap around me. As a singular tear dripped down my face I forgot the cold and jumped off the porch and ran into the yard. The grass would've been cold and wet to any other person, but to me it was just a green field of numb. I lay on the grass my face growing wet with tears, and my heart aching for him. I heard footsteps, and though I knew it wasn't him I looked up my heart crying out for the footsteps to be his.
"Come in it's late," said the familiar voice. I hid my face in the grass and let the cold wrap around me like a blanket. "Common' Nicky it's late, cold too. Just come in for a while," he said squatting down. He watched my face for a while.
"I can't face them Nate," I whispered as he sat down and pulled me up a little so that my head was resting on his knee.
"I know it hurt Nicky, but I'll stay with you. I'll help you into your room without them noticing," he said grinning. "Just like old times," he said. He watched my distressed eyes. "Or I can help you up and then leave you alone; they won't see you. I promise," he said lifting me to my feet and guiding me to the back door. I felt weak with grief, and I stumbled several times on the way to the back door. I suddenly remembered Alex and I slipping through the back door and I let out a sob despite of myself. "Shh, shh, it's alright. There you go, up, up," Nate said encouraging me as I went up the steps. Then before he opened the door he picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder easily. War had made him strong. Nate began to climb the stairs, but before he could get even half way up my Aunt called to him.
"You find her Nathaniel Leere?" She called teasingly.
"No Ma'am, I regret saying so. I'll wait for her up in her room. Suppose she'll come up when she's ready to face us all," he said easily. As if lying made no mark upon him, even though I knew it hurt him terribly to lie to my Aunt like that. Nate had never been able to tell a lie.
"Alright, you wait for her up there and I'll wait down here. Who knows she might scale that cherry tree like she used to," my Aunt said chuckling as she walked away. Nate tore up the stairs easily. After he'd closed my bedroom door he placed me softly on my bed. Then, he sat down next to me. I just sat there dumbfounded, and Nate looking into my eyes saw that I needed to be comforted. As he pulled my head against his chest I sobbed, succumbing to my overwhelming sadness.





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Taylor A. said...
Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:14 am
thats so rael. i felt i couldnt live on when my bf and i spilt up though i made the choice for the 2nd time it still killed me inside i actully codnt bring myself to do any thing my family was so concered about me n i brush them off because nothing mater but him until my fav person in the world holly my best friend helped me through it all i was even able to smile just reamber use your mates to get closer i did
 
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