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A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for the High Cost of Epipens

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FOR PREVENTING THE ESCALATION AND LONG TERM PERPETUATION OF THE HIGH COSTS OF EPIPENS


It is melancholy object to the rising prices of epipens. The price of the epipens are getting way out of hand and most people think this as well. It is one of the must need products because it can save people's lives, but most people are not buying them anymore because they can’t afford them. These rising prices will ultimately lead to an increase in deaths due to allergic reactions because people are choosing to go on with their lives without them. 


I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence shouldn’t have reached this much of a concerning point. Raising the price of epipens almost $500 is insane, most people aren't gonna pay that when the price has only at most been $100. If someone comes up with the most well executed plan in order to get these prices down they should take over the company.  


But my intention if far from being confined to provide only for the betterment of the world. My plan is much more pleasing to today's society, you can say it is a more feasible plan. Most of the world will be in love with it because the cost of epipens will be cut way down due to it. 


As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not as efficient as they claim to be. The  proposal the company that manufactures the epipens has said to be something called a co-pay card. That is simply put to be a card that the buyer has that will cut the price of the epipen down when you go buy one. The bad thing about this card is that it doesn't cut the price down that much, only has taken $100 dollars of bills at a time, they worst part yet...you have to pay for the card also. That's why my solution will cut more than half of the price off of what the price of epi pens are now.


I will now present my own idea, which i hope will not be subject to any disagreement.


I humbly offer it to public consideration that the humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit, should go through their houses and grab all the things that they are allergic too. Along with this all the stores will go through and grab the main items that people are allergic to (Nuts that come from the ground and trees, and dairy products). (This is all exaggeration because not everyone will do this and it is nearly impossibly to get every product which includes nuts or dairy off the shelves.)


In this scenario if the people of the world want the cost of epipens to go down significantly they will do as my plan states. Most people are choosing to not pay for the new epipens and deal with the risk of possibly dying, but why risk it when all you have to do to gather all the items that people are the most allergic too and get rid of them. It is a very simple task to do and most people won't even break a sweat. (Sarcasm because most people will break a sweat by running around gathering and throwing away products.)


Of course there is another very important step in my solution to lower the costs down. After everyone and every store has gathered all of the main things people are allergic too all you have to go find is a dumpster and throw it all away, all of it. This will reassure the people of the world that they will get lower prices as they were told.


These drastic and sudden changes may be very difficult to reach, although they will work. It will be difficult because not everyone will want to throw away food that they just bought, also what company wants to loose produce that is able to make income. BUT what they don't realize is how many lives they will be saving be doing so, so next time one of the workers at the store goes to buy an epipen they will no longer complain about the prices and walk out with the satisfaction that they were a part in the lowering of the that price.


I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal but the only thing that could happen is the company who makes the epipens try to sue me for what i have created. This will get nowhere of course because they are making more money than ever because the price is so low everyone is buying more than they have before.


Again, no one should dare to suggest these notions to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented.


It is that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of the solutions to this topic, but simply that I have researched this topic for years and years. No one knows as much about his topic as i do ands that is why after hard work i finally have came up with the only solution that will be able to cut the price of epipens down. It is the only solution that will work because it is the only one that will work for everyone around the world .


 




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