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A Satirical Solution for: Plastic Pollution in the Ocean

It is a melancholy object to the creatures of this planet that rely on the environment provided by the waters of the oceans when their homes become a dangerous threat to their lives rather than a safe place of tranquility.  This threat is caused by the disturbance and misplacement of plastic pollution that can kill the marine life it comes in contact with which can lead to disastrous effects.  In the most polluted oceans of the planet such as the Indian, Pacific, and Atlantic Oceans, hundreds of species of fish and other water inhabitants are becoming extinct due to plastic pollution.  If this horrific trend of pollution continues, our oceans will become vacant of all life forms within the next decade and will leave human beings in a fight for their own lives (Exaggeration; There is no way that within the next ten years every ocean with not have any sea life at all just because of plastic pollution).


I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence of pollution in the oceans is a severe issue that can and will begin to affect the lives of every human being on the planet if the issue is just left alone.  If a solution is discovered and works effectively a global disaster could be avoided and  the individual responsible will be well deserving of a massive check of billions of dollars made out in their name.


But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the betterment of marine life.  My proposal is much more beneficial to the entire planet, both on land and sea, for the protection of all species of marine and land life as well as the human race.


As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be.  The solutions proposed by these researchers are far too simple and lazy to ever be effective.  It is not possible to change the world’s oceans by simply educating people about the pollution that is occurring or by a few water cleaning projects every now and again.  It will come as no surprise when every human being is starving as a result of Mcdonald's seizing to serve the fillet ‘o’ fish sandwich or Outback Steakhouse no longer serving a hefty seasoned salmon dinner (Sarcasm; The fish served at Mcdonald's is most likely not even real and it is making fun of our society being so reliant on fast food and other restaurants).  I propose that as inhabitants of this planet, we take a more vigorous approach to this issue with a solution that will bring not only environmental benefits but social benefits as well. 


I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subject to any disagreement.


I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit, should completely eliminate all use and production of plastic.  Any products currently composed of plastic will be destroyed.  Along with this elimination, the production of plastic materials and items will cease.


In this scenario, plastic water bottles will no longer exist and instead the art of origami will be taught at a young age in school in order to provide for a readily available cup solution to quench one’s thirst.  For those insistent on using a bottle for their water, they will be provided the option of purchasing glass water bottles.  In order to eliminate all items made of this disastrous material already in existence, a gargantuan bonfire of extreme temperatures will be held to melt and dispose of the materials. The species of the sea will soon begin to reap the benefits of the extinction of this material rather than themselves.  


Of course, in order to ensure the utmost amount of environmental and social benefits of this solution, a universal law will be passed implementing a high fine to be charged to anyone that is discovered to still be in possession of a plastic object (Irony; The solution is supposed to be one that will benefit the people however the chance of someone having an item made of plastic is extremely likely and they will therefore have to pay a huge fine).  This new law will be enforced by a special committee of officers who will be hired for the specific purpose of going undercover to seize the use of plastic.  As a result of the fine, many people will work diligently to get rid of all plastic objects in their homes and replace them with glass or another material.  Removing plastic products could bring about a new era of self-reliant production of goods as people begin to build their own everyday items from wood or paper.


These drastic and sudden changes to our society will indeed be extremely difficult to initiate as the support for these changes may be slim to none.  It will require mass amounts of time, effort, and teamwork in order to raise awareness of the changes that will occur and physically put the solution into action.  Although the changes may be difficult for society to accept, it will allow for the rebirth of the majestic marine life and will replenish the bottom end of our food chain. 


I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal unless one claims that it is unreasonable to expect every person across the globe to make a complete change to their lifestyle simply to save some fish however my solution does more than just save a miniscule amount of marine life.  I believe that it would be extremely difficult for an individual to live with the fact that a precious penguin died because they did not want to inconvenience themselves by switching out a few water bottles and a table.


Again, no one should dare to suggest these notions to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented.


It is not that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of solution to this topic, but simply that there has been an immense amount of effort put in to gather solid research regarding this topic and its effect on both sea creatures and the human race in order to ensure a feasible solution for plastic oceanic pollution.  The proposed solution is the only possible way to revamp the marine environment while eliminating water pollution as it sets a clear, step-by-step process to follow.




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