It's been a little over 4 months since the last time I harmed myself intentionally and it feels like years and yesterday all at once. I used to be in such a bad place where all i saw was darkness and pain. I became such a good actress after moving to a small town. To this day most people have no idea the way i used to feel and the way I sometimes still do feel. How is it possible to stay afloat in this sea they call life when all these people constantly try to make you sink? There are so many ice bergs that try and get in your way...they are cold and hard with sharp points that try and harm you and they do harm you, until you find the one and only sun who loves you and helps melt the ice bergs. I found a song today that put a really hard struggle that seems so complicating to describe into words so simple it amazed me. It's by a band called Between the Trees and its named The Way She Feels. This song was inspired by a non-profit organization called To Write Love On Her Arms. This organization helps people everywhere who struggle with depression and addiction. I watched this music video twice and each time I saw more and more of myself in those girls eyes...they seemed perfectly fine to everyone around them but the reason this was, is because they just saw her from her outside not truly who she was. She seemed so happy, she dressed nice, had a good family but there was something missing...there's always something missing. If you focus on that piece of you thats missing more then you focus on the parts of yourself you already have, your ship will sway...and most likely hit that ice berg. How much damage your ship recieves is how you handle the wreck, if you handle it yourself the damage gets worse, but if you hand it over to that sun, which to me is God, it can fix it. He loves when we go to him and he takes us no matter how damaged we are. We need to wake up and notice people around usand notice how they are feeling, instead of just walking right by them.
How I Survived an Emotional Shipwreck
October 26, 2008