My Brother

The antagonist in my life story has always been my brother. I was obviously the protagonist, because I came into the story first, and shortly later he showed up. The obvious reason for all my major problems.
Of course, there were other problems in my life that could be called antagonizers.
Cliquiness in school, trouble with friends, even grades for a while. But it was easy to overcome those issues as quickly as they came. No, my brother is definitely the antagonist. The one problem that won't go away, no matter what method I used or how I reasoned. He would not go away. And so he the antagonist to my protagonist. The sun to my Icarus. The pain in my butt.

I could go on to tell you multiple accounts of his antagonizing. The bickering, the violence, the he said/she said tales of events. It would all be pointless. It wouldn't change anything, except show you the story of yet another brother and sister, except more extreme. Far more extreme. We hate each other. And I am not a fool, so I know the opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference, so I try my best to ignore him. To accept his presence and move on. But it's not that simple. He is the only one who can make me angry, the only one who can make me violent, the only one who can drive me to frustrated tears and to lose all my patience. I hate what I become when I'm around him. I don't know how it is he can push all my buttons to the point where I forget who I am, and my values, and basically publicly humiliate myself on his account. I hate that. I hate that person I become. That hate what he makes me into, and that is impossible to be indifferent about.

We, like every pair of siblings, have our rare moments where we tolerate each other's presence, but not for the sake of others. Oddly enough, when alone, we (although not 100% on friendly terms) manage to get along. I wish I knew why. I'd far rather we not get along when alone, and get along when others are around. It would make us seem more functional. Sure, it would mostly be an illusion, but so what. However, what really eats at me is, is it an illusion that we don't get along, or that we do? For others, they see we don't get along, but when just the 2 of us, we do. So which is the illusion? Are they both, perhaps, all smoke and mirrors, or is there some truth to each?
When other people are around us, in general as a species, we behave differently. Different people bring out certain characteristics of ourselves. None of these are falsehoods, but just a different part of ourselves that we get to express. So when we choose friends, I believe we choose based on who brings out the features we like best about ourselves. But you can't choose family. If you don't like how they make you behave, you're basically screwed, because you're stuck with them, and vice versa. But, back to the point, I believe when you combine different people you are with, it can also affect you. So if you are with your artistic friend, maybe you are eloquent. When you are with your outgoing friend, maybe you are funnier. When you are with both at once, I don't think you become an eloquent comedian, but a whole new thing entirely.

What does this have to do with my brother and I? Well, maybe when we are with others, whether they complement us or disagree, something in us shifts and the traits being brought out cause us to clash in a different way than when we are alone. This is just a theory, but I think it could work. However, it is not 100% consistent, because usually, even when alone, we bicker and argue, just not to the same extremities.
No matter how much I tell myself to be indifferent, or how many different methods I try, he never goes away. He is the antagonist in my story, and I am the protagonist. He is the box to my Pandora. He is family, so I am screwed.





Join the Discussion

This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

rebeccaxoxoxox said...
Feb. 3, 2009 at 10:03 pm
I LOVE YOU AND THIS PIECE!
 
nikki234 said...
Jan. 28, 2009 at 3:14 am
danii ur beast i love u n ur bro n ur hilarious battles but i have seen u guys nice to each otha but maybe i dnt count so idk lol ahha a

love this sooo much ur inasnly amazinn!! LOL hahaha
 
marisaaa said...
Jan. 28, 2009 at 3:03 am
love this!
 
LivingInLiterature said...
Jan. 25, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I really like how you came up with a theory to explain your thoughts rather than tell yet another "he said/she said tale of events" :-)
 
thesunoficarus said...
Dec. 26, 2008 at 4:01 am
I am the brother and i say good article yep and i think you used to many analogys
 
risssy said...
Dec. 22, 2008 at 11:24 pm
AHH love it daniela, great connections and metaphors!
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback