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Call To Action, Anyone Interested?

To anyone who's inspired to read this: Thanks.

I have just finished reading a book this morning (Saving June by Hannah Harrington, if you msut know) and then it goy my head whirring as I thought about another book similar to it (The Sky is Everywhere). I don't know what point I have to say, but I hope that people can understand what I'm trying to get across. I am frustrated that the people I associate myself with refuse to discuss hard-core sh** that happens. And I as the only one on the cusp of adulthood that they usually assimilate themselves with, who is on the cusp of adulthood have no idea if I should intervene, or... not.

So! Background information. I am in my senior year of high school, and the two books are only connected for my purposes because the older sisters in each novel die. (Don't worry, it doesn't spoil anything, this all happens in the beginning.) What I got to thinking, essentially, was this: Had the older sister in Saving June been cutting herself instead of committing suicide so suddenly, could she have been saved? In real life, why as a bystander am I too afraid to help someone, until I hear that it's too late? A schoolmate of mine is only a child at fifteen, and I'm almost eighteen, and when I see the shallow, insecure cuts slit into her wrists and forearms, I get angry. Not because of the cutting, but because I've told her multiple times that I love her, and that she can always talk to me if she needs something, but why won't she? Like the older sister in Saving June, couldn't June have just held out her hand and asked help from her sister, Harper?

I'm no idiot. Don't get me wrong. This is not an article where I call out all the people who cut and say they're stupid for hurting themselves. I'm not like that. Nor will I ever let other people say those things without knowing what the other person is going through. I can see both sides of the coin because I lived throught the cutting myself. I'm proud to say that I have been cut-free for three years now. I may not hate myself as I did three years ago, but I have come to terms with my pain, and who I am. I am satisfied with who I am now and what I have created for myself without the use of hurting myself. Like I said before: I get it. I've been inside the sh**hole and back, multiple times in the past. It still haunts me when I'm extremely stressed out that some thoughts slither into the back of my head, tempting me back into the hole. To ache with the thought that the relief will come once I slice my skin, watching the red blossom. I fight that ugly side of me: All. The. Time. So I really am trying to understand my friend, I've offered her my love, my understanding, my care and even at one point threatened to rat her out to her counselor. I'm not asking you as the reader to plead her to seek medical attention or anything, though I know that I eventually will have to. I am just pouring out my feelings and hoping that there are others who are struggling with the same situation I find myself in. I'm frustrated that she doesn't see that she's not only hurting me too, but her family. Like the little sister in The Sky is Everywhere, what will she decide to do when I'm not there anymore to stop her? The constant fear of waiting evaporates when she shows it off in mock seriousness, mocking my concern with giggles and laughter. My anger boils over and I shove it down using music as my escape. I'm tired of holding back, and I'm sure that if you have found yourself in the same situation, I bet you are too. I'm willing myself to have the strength to issue a call-to-action: either they stop or I stop them. She can hate me, reject my efforts to pull her out of the hellhole, or accept it. But dammit, I'm tired constantly knowing why my best friend's tears were trying to tell me: WHY WON'T YOU STOP?

I'd like to hear that there are others who support what I'm going to do. We don't know each other, but the concern we have for our friends- or family- connnects us. Knowing that there are other people rooting for my success will only make me that much more convinced I can pull her out of the sh**hole. Before she becomes June.

----This is for you,Bells.---



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