Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Creative Trust

If you've never been betrayed, you've never trusted anyone. You've never told someone your deepest thoughts and emotions. You have never turned yourself inside out as though you were pulling out a never ending string of nerves and folding in your skin. Some people are the opposite. Some people trust everyone with everything. They end up being hurt the most. Because, even though the other person says that it's completely confidential, it usually isn't. And then there are people like me. I've been broken and back stabbed, but I still tell everyone everything, regardless. Just not in the same format.

See, I have a motto that I live by. No one knows about it, well now you do. And whoever else happens to be reading this. The motto? It's simple:
"Creativity is telling everything, you don't want to say, to everyone."
If you have even a single drop of creativity in your blood, you might be able to understand. Except, you can't just have the creativity. You have to use it, strengthen it. Almost like you would a bond of trust. Building it up until it reaches its maximum potential, then still stretching the maximum to even higher feats. It's a thirst that's never quenched, especially by the liquid words that flow out of the average gossipers mouth.

Just listen to the radio. Singers, musicians, singing the newest hits, might be trying to convey a deeper message. Pay attention to the lyrics, you'll understand. Some of them, are of course, written by song writers just to get money. Others are written straight from the heart. It's like their diary being put out to the world. Is this what I am doing right now? Possibly. It's all a matter of time before you find out.

I however, can't sing. You won't be hearing me on the radio anytime soon (unless of course it's auto tuned). No, my creativity is channeled around the art that I create and the writings that I write. Art is harder to interpret than songs. Sometimes, I have a hard time interpreting my own artwork. One stroke of a pencil could be equal to 3 paragraphs of me spilling out every single bolt that is used to build my mentality. One shadow is equivalent to a slur of thoughts that process through my head, faster than the gears in a machine. Yes, gears, thinking, all very cliché, but it works. Brush strokes on a canvas exploit my own rainbow of emotions, where red isn't the clichéd "love", but whatever it corresponds to in the picture.

So that's art, yes it is all very complex. But what about when I write? Well take this for example, a simple essay, narrative-like thing that I just started writing. When I write, I skip the prewriting part. Of course, as most creative writers know (and by creative I mean fictional, narrative, etc.), the words that come out of your thoughts, first are the best. Unpoisoned by the second thoughts that arises. Just writing, writing, writing, pouring out your soul into a story.

I don't just write things like this though. I also write poetry. Poetry is where it really all comes out for me. A wasted attempt at shoving a life story into a few stanzas. Almost like I shove everything in my closet when guests show up uninvited. These guests though, are the newest thought additions to my collection. Wanting to push other, now unnecessary, thoughts out of existence. Hoping they won't return with vengeance. And as usual, they end up coming back with a fury that is inextinguishable.

Are you keeping up? I hope so, because this is where the really confusing stuff comes in. Where passersby may just, well, pass by. Is it that the creative arts, of all kinds, are more of portals into the creator's soul? The deepest thoughts that are initially conveyed as a song, or a story, or a dance, are much more. Emotions irrationally leave traces of exaggerated acceptance through the arts of people.

Sometimes, you have to ask yourself, what am I telling the world? What crazy thoughts am I screaming at the top of my lungs, without even knowing it? For a story, is just the depth of the story writer's mind. A poem is just a completely condensed version of a whole life. When you see a painting of a butterfly, it can be equivalent to what otherwise, may seem insane.

Is that what communities crave? Is genius described as insanity in creativity? Just take writers like Edgar Allen Poe. Completely insane, psychological. Yet, considered a genius in today's world. His works at the time may have been considered "taboo", but isn't that what our world is built off of?

If you have ever wanted to show someone a piece of work that you did (whether it be art or writing), and been hesitant, it's because deep down, you know what it represents. You might be afraid to share it with the world. Or maybe you were on the other side, someone wanted to show you something, but ended up "chickening out". They may have just been about to reveal their most private thoughts to you. And just because they didn't show you, doesn't mean they don't trust you.

Sometimes, I really want to show people what I write and draw but end up just saying I changed my mind. It's not that I don't trust the person, but that I don't trust my own imagination. I typically, as stated before, just pour everything out. I usually don't edit it to remove anything I don't like. There are things in life that people don't like, but you can't just go back and delete your mistakes. If that was the case, we wouldn't have the amazing creative people we have today.

Creative Trust. The title of this essay. Is it really showing something more? Are you interpreting it the way it was meant to, or are you looking at it from a whole different perspective? Once again, this is one of those things where I might just be telling you something deeper. Have you ever heard the saying "read between the lines"? That saying has brought a lot of misinterpretations, assumptions, and filling the missing pieces with useless information. People neglect to realize that things are viewed from different people, who have different lives, which have different events.

If you read this sentence: "I like to dance in the rain." you can interpret it many ways. The literal way, the person who said this likes dancing in the rain. The romantic way, this person has a fantasy of dancing in the rain. The poetic way, this person has a terrible, stressful life yet lives it to the full. The happy poetical way, this person has rid themselves of all inhibitions and loves the cleansing rains of their life. Or the depressed poetical way, this person is crying and puts on a mask of dancing happily. As you can see, there are many different interpretations.

What then, is the real interpretation? In this metaphorical sentence, it could be any of those. It makes a point that anything can be seen as anything. The biggest fear as an artist that I have, is someone correctly interpreting it when I hoped they wouldn't. I've had it happen a few times. In fact, there are professional doctors who get paid to do this. Otherwise known as therapists or counselors. I have had more than my fair share of bad experiences with them. So many that I have had to beef up the security I have to my mind.

Security. Mind. Creativity. I have forced myself to make my works so incomprehensible so that no one may correctly interpret them. It is a skill that I am still working on. It's not lying. It's not hiding the truth. It's actually the opposite. You just can't see that it is the truth because of the blindness that society has bestowed upon you.

Once again, creativity is a portal into our minds. A simple drawing, may be the artist's life story. People who have such an easy time trusting may be hurt. People who don't trust anyone, have been hurt so many times. People who create mysterious puzzles of their lives in a disguised way, are people who trust, yet don't trust. How can you tell the difference between the three? That would be to easy to just tell you. You have to find it yourself. Perhaps, there are hidden hints in the paragraphs above. Creative trust, do you have it?





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback