I’m sorry I’m a little tired; I just got out of the hospital. The third degree burns all over my body put me in four months of intensive hospital care and therapy. You can thank those cute little angels for that. Excuse me, where are my manners? I’m Mrs. Larkin; you’ll probably know me better as “the witch” from Hansel and Gretel. Now, where do I start? Of course, before you run away in fear, let me fill you in on a little something. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the story of Hansel and Gretel, but before you run away screaming, I want you to hear my side of the story; what actually happened. So here’s the truth.
It was October 30th, the day right before Halloween. Now living alone, I have a lot of time to myself, and Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, so I wanted to really get into the season. I decorated the entire outside of my house with real editable candy. I thought it was a brilliant idea! I remember I was trying on my costume to make sure it fit right for tomorrow, when I heard a big thud outside my house. It was thunder storming pretty badly, and I wasn’t expecting visitors, so curiously I went downstairs to see where the noise came from. I looked out my window, and saw a little girl and a boy, covered in mud and drenched from the rain, trying to use some of the candy from my house to make a shade to cover them from the storm. I felt terrible, so I quickly opened my door to invite them in.
They looked horrible. They were coughing, sneezing, and looked like they were just going to drop dead right on my doormat. My bathroom was being redone at the time, and they were desperately in need of washing up, so I had an idea. I had out all my decorations for Halloween, and I had a big cauldron where I put all the candy for the children, but I thought if I filled it up with hot water, they could soak in it, and then I could give them some blankets to lay down to get better.
I told them what I would do, and they were very appreciative, they told me their parents ditched them! I felt so bad, so I decided to add my extra secret family medicine in the water, so they’d feel better right away. I filled the pot and they got right in, and both of the children started to feel better once I put my medicine in. I felt good to be helping out such poor little children, and I was laying out sheets for them to sleep in when suddenly, I got a huge bang in the head! I briefly remember the rest; they hit me so hard I had a concussion. But I remember being dragged back into the kitchen, and I looked up to see that there were two people who were pulling me! It was the little boy and the little girl! I tried to escape from their grip, but their grasp didn’t cease, and before I realized what was going on, they shoved me into my oven, and turned it on.
Of course, while this was all happening, my mail-man came to deliver my mail. As I was roasting in the oven, the children realized they’d get in trouble for playing this prank, so they made up a story about how I was going to eat them after cooking them in my cauldron! Can you believe it? I was outraged! After all I’d done for them too. Luckily, he turned off the oven before I was history, and drove me to the hospital, as the kids went back to their parents, who were “waiting for them to have a picnic” or so that’s what they told the mailman. After my surgeries, I was tried for the attempt in murder and attempt to eat the two little children. I was so furious I couldn’t help but scream and yell. They then thought I was crazy, so of course, they took the children’s side.
Now, as I sit here at the North Fairyland Institute for the mentally unstable, I count the days until I can go home, hoping that those rotten children are at least receiving somewhat of a punishment for this horror they’ve put me through. But no, it’s just me who has to endure all the consequences for trying to help out two poor little children. Oh well, only four years, seven months, and eighteen more days to go. In the end, I know I’ve at least learned one thing, and that’s the last time I’m ever talking to strangers, even if they look to be poor, helpless, little children. So here’s a lesson to all you out there; no good deed goes unpunished, so choose them wisely. And remember, there are two sides to every story.